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Bleeding

It hurts... Being the guy who has to reprimand my peers and face the flak. Yeah I know I'm doing it for God... Yeah and I know if I'm doing it for God everything will turn out fine. But the pain it brings me is killing me. Why can't they see I'm not critisizing them directly, I'm not aiming anyone of them on purpose? I don't know. Why can't they see that they have issues and think why I have to scold them? Beats me.

Though I may say that I'm willing to sacrifice my all to fufilll God's purpose... The price is starting to take its toll. Soon, I may have no friends in church save a few who understand my plight. I'll become just a disciplinarian and senior in their eyes, and not a friend.

To sum it all up, I'm afraid of the consequences. Though I may claim that I don't care, a small part of me is bleeding right now.

But whats done is done. Theres no turning back. And its time I embrace my up-and-coming duties as a leader, though it may mean I'll lose my friends. And I pray that my heart eventually can truly say... Lord, you're more than enough for me.

Don't worry bout me guys... I just need your prayer. I will continue submitting to Him, but I need peace inside to quell my fear. Instead worry for God, cos he's the worthy one, not any of us.
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