BenLow's blog

Sorry for the long break in posting... Just have not much passion for blogging these days... I suppose its rather strange, I blog when I'm close to God and lose the passion when I feel distant from Him. Then again, this hasn't happened before in the history of this blog, and its rather strange like this. Which goes to show how strong my Christian walk has been. Well for now as mentioned I'm still persevering! I've started playing a new game: Dragon's Age for PS3, and also I'm finally at the 3rd page of Chopin's Revolutionary Etude. Have been keeping late nights thanks to studying, and that has probably not been a good thing at all for my body, my mind and my spirit. Shall wait patiently for the end of the exam season to end, where all my rest and time spent in deep communion with God will come. I need a silent retreat haha. Well exam schedule: 21st April - Japan and Singapore 23rd April - Industrial and Organizational Psych 24th April - Adolescent Psych 28th

Recently I find myself sinking into a bit of minor depression. Not that everything is going badly, there's always some good everywhere. However, there's this general feeling of loss, the sense that I feel some measure of distance between God and myself, and I do not understand why exactly this distance exists: whether it's my heart hardening, me being not so receptive to His voice any more, or that its a trial. One thing I do know, is that I do not like it one bit - losing sight of the God who gave me life. School gives no pleasure, but instead tiredness. Cell, however warm has a measure of stress attached to it. Supporting Van sometimes frustrates me when I'm powerless to do anything to improve her mood. Random occurrences that always used to be favourable are beginning to turn for the worse. But most of all in the midst of the negativity, I can't hear His voice. Its been some time since something heavy like this has weighed on my back. Ever since the weight of mis