BenLow's blog

Well... ID Retreat ended on a good note. Insanely tired on that day (actually the previous day too), slept immediately without taking a bath once I reached home. Here are the results for my own spiritual gifts test: Strongest Gifts: Music Leadership Strong Gifts: Wisdom Knowledge Administration Good Gifts: Teaching Faith Encouragement Discernment Just compiled an excel sheet of all the gifts of the YE people in a easy to browse and well classified format. Quite proud of accomplishing that! =) Well if any of you have questions on your spiritual gifts: like what they are, and what to do with them, do ask! I've put in a new formspring question and answer thingy on the right side of the blog so do use it to your advantage. 9 posts to 500!

I've been re-listening to some of the old albums that people have given me... And here's a song that I've got courtesy of Mel, who gave me one of Avalon's albums. Some of my favourites from the album include Everything To Me, I Don't Want To Go and New Day. And I love Avalon because I can feel their sincerity and the realness of God in the lyrics that they sing. Here's the album: And here's one of their songs I've been putting on replay: Adonai by Avalon Verse 1: One single drop of rain Your salty tear became blue ocean One tiny grain of sand turning in your hand A world in motion You're out beyond the furthest Morning Star Close enough to hold me in Your arms Chorus: Adonai, I lift up my heart and I cry My Adonai You're Maker of each moment Father of my hope and freedom Oh, my Adonai Verse 2: One timid faithful knock Resounds upon the Rock of Ages One trembling heart and soul Becomes a servant bold and courageous You call across the mountains an

Have been in emo mode since yesterday, but I've cheered up thanks to the tabulating I've been doing for the spiritual gifts inventory, and seeing how everyone fits in to create this wonderful youth group that we call YE. Well, as usual it was internal turmoil that did the damage. And yes, once again it had something to do with my perfectionist self. Just can't reconcile the fact that I can treat others so nicely yet at the same time be so harsh on myself. When I'm with others the common sentences I'd use would be: "Its ok." or "No prob." or "Don't worry about it." or "Yeah sure." I'd say I'm an extremely laid back person, to the point of leniency towards others. But the problem is when this side of me tries to assure myself that although I make mistakes its fine, I feel that its just excuses I make for myself. I want to push myself higher, become more serious about certain things and become stronger for God. And my

Post 488. Well, just went to the dentist. And its been 3+ years since the previous time. My bottom row of teeth aren't in that good of a state, but no decays! Guess I've gotta start flossing. To do list: 1. CIP stuff - make sure everyone knows the details and brings their stuff 2. BS stuff - print! 3. ID retreat stuff - print stuff, get resources and mod slides A lot of printing/photocopying to do on friday when I go down to church...

Post 487. Bored... For most of the day kept my computer off, and realized how much it really meant to me. Because all the entertainment I have is on the internet. Gotta start going out more often just for the sake of it, maybe for something random and not work, spiritual or friend related. Perhaps a walk at the nature reserve opposite my house is in order. Yup, just lying down on a grassy patch would be good. Besides that, the weekend has been one filled with reminders that are due: Was reminded when talking to Aaron and Max what I truly, purely desired for Gihon. All I want is for them to become closer and closer to God, and that is all I've been asking when I pray for them, because it is the most important and beautiful thing in the world. Perhaps on the way while being with Gihon I forgot about how simple it actually was. Was reminded to seek God, especially when I prepare to teach others. This weeks SYC reminded me there will be a time when I will face God, and have to answer t

Post 486! I'm quite amused by the fact that I manage to go to the places mentioned by the 9:30pm news broadcast on that day when certain places are being reported about. For example, I was at Queenstown library tutoring Aaron the day the news reported about Queenstown library's 40th birthday. And just today, I was just at 313@Somerset meeting Renhao for lunch and today's news report had something to do with the new mall having good customer service and support, allowing it to attract many visitors within its first 5 months of opening. Well... Can't help wondering if news broadcasters are stalking me haha! Reading Judges for QT, my most favourite book of the bible. Because its just like the life story of almost every Christian, me included. Filled with sin, but always forgiven and rescued after repenting. On a random note: Can't wait for the Noose to come on 1st June. Looking forward to it!

485th Post. Preparing for Identity Retreat now... Well the topic I'll speaking about is one really really close to my heart: Talents and Gifts. Back then, years ago, if I hadn't discovered my talents, gotten confidence to use them and gotten all the encouragement that I needed, I wouldn't be who I am today. Who knows what I'll be? Probably the quiet, timid self I was up till that moment. I managed all that only through God's guidance, and I shudder to think what would've happened if He hadn't been with me all those years. And because of that, I want the youths of my church to realize how enriching it can be for themselves when they find God's work in them and when they use it for God's purposes. I experienced the wonderful power of it all, and I'd like for them to feel it too! On a side note... Anyone from my era remembers the show the Crystal Maze? 6 people come together to solve physical, mental, skill and mystery puzzles in 4 time zones, the a

Post 484. 1. A runny nose 2. Bad ulcers from biting your tongue 3. Terribly hot weather 4. Loads of phlegm in your throat All these make for a horrible day. And a lack of concentration when its duly needed. =(

Yesterday was one of the worst days to fall sick... Especially with so many things to attend to. Grandma's birthday dinner, sorting out Gihon's prayer buddies and praying for YE to name a few. And it was the 1st time in ages I've gotten sick twice in the same year. Pfft. Oh well at least it gave me time to think about various things. But thats the only positive out of the many negatives. Finally got my new QT material! Bought it during the recee for ID retreat. Just reading through Christian help books and short passages of the bible without something to put it into perspective was quite dreary... I'm glad I got the chance to buy it! One thing I'm getting really interested in is murder mysteries, have been watching the Murder Game, Murder in Small Town X and Kindachi Case Files. Its scary how simple emotions can push people to the point of murder or committing a crime, and how twisted killers can be born from just a lingering hatred for someone else. Another would b