BenLow's blog

 I'm feeling quite nostalgic and have been thinking about my childhood a lot recently. A lot of it is because of the retreat I just had with my CG members and how having such a retreat reminded me of days that were more slower paced and more relaxed.  It makes me want to relive some of my memories. Two ways that I've thought about is soccer - I've been watching some of the World Cup matches, and it reminds me of the late nights I had watching matches when I was 15 or so and just starting this blog. About how soccermugger came to be in the first place and how I wanted this platform to post about soccer scores and how I felt about the matches I watched. The other way is to watch old anime, and I'm thinking about revisiting the first ever anime I watched which was Digimon. It was televised in Mandarin at 8am, and I remember waking up early on the weekends to watch it fervently. Maybe its time to do that again.  In general I guess my inclinations are to be more at ease and ...

Now that'd I've put my last phase of life past me and have some more time to reflect cos I'm C+ for the second time, I feel that it's the correct time to do a bit more reflection about my past, especially the last couple of years. I've always thought that one of the counseling exercises practiced would be helpful for me to process what I've been going through - that is to personify my negative emotions. In a sense to experience that final bit of release from these emotions that have threatened me for a long time. To talk about the inner demons that I've been facing.  Wrath. The fiercest of them all, yet gentlemanly in some ways, calculative in others. People usually imagine wrath to be brawny, in your face and belligerent. But my Wrath is more sinister, sly even. Plotting the downfall of my enemies and using the knowledge that I have to exact vengeance. Over the months I have exerted control of him by reminding myself that only God has the right to judge. De...

Recently things have been going really well. I've had a leadership position in my workplace for almost one year now and it is quite amazing how God has guided throughout the way. Despite this I feel that I have achieved the balance between my work, personal life and I'm in some sort of a flow that makes me satisfied about how things are going. I'm about to transition to another stage of it, and it feels that along the way God has prepared me each and every step. There's a lot to give thanks for.  Things are really cruising along. I've always liked a good, smooth drive and life feels that way at the moment. Its been a long time along a bumpy road but finally things feel right.  Praise be to God who calms the raging seas. Praise be to God who can be counted on for the hardest difficulties in life.  Not sure when the next post be, but I think if things carry on the way they are, more good posts are to come. 

I’ve emerged thankfully unscathed from a bout of COVID-19. It was an interesting experience not just because of the self imposed quarantine measures to prevent my household from getting sick, but it was also the first time I’ve taken such an extended break for a long time (I still did work on and off, but there was a lot of time for restful sleep after taking meds and reflection).  I realised during the time that wounds still run deep and influence how I relate to God, and how much more fearful I am about losing sight of Him. It’s a double edged sword, in a way it’s good that it creates dependency on God but the other side of it is to be that way for all the wrong reasons. I catch myself thinking whether fear or love is the real driving force of what I do nowadays. It is tough facing this, as once again I see my own weakness. I can only trust God to help me work through this.  Recently it’s been hard for me to engage much in my hobbies and things have been reduced to Youtube a...

Have been engaging in a couple of new interesting hobbies to liven things up.  First off, chess of which I've started diving into to learn opening strategies and as part of that have started to watch official tournaments. Good way to stretch my thinking muscles. Second, watching netflix series in alphabetical order. Never know what interesting gems you uncover. I'm partway through stuff starting with the number 2, and its quite amazing how much you find about other cultures from this. Upcoming is a movie called 2 Weeks in Lagos, I think will be interesting cos I will get to learn more about Nigeria. I last watched a movie called 2 States which was about the clash in cultures between North and South India.   Third, watching soccer for the thrill and excitement. Letting this blog live up to its name.  Fourth, PS4. Finally finishing of Tales of Berseria and starting on Assassins Creed Origins soon.  Fifth, anime - the usual stuff I have never gone without since thi...

It's been quite some time since the last post, and time has just been ticking on. I'm entering a new phase in my career in a new office at Queenstown. Things are good on the work front, as I've been given a vote of confidence and responsibilities despite my young age. Eventually I'll be getting re-designated as a Team Leader, and looking forward to it! It's a sign that I am well versed enough in the work. Another part of my life that has been looking up - playing keys/bass for the newly created Saturday Service for church. I feel that spiritually things are well despite the turmoil of last year. A great sense of fulfillment and meaning whenever I do that, as if I'm back to my roots. In terms of leisure the usual things:  1. Soccer - Late night matches (back to the good old days) 2. PS4 - Trying to finish off Tales of Berseria, moving on to Assassins Creed: Origin thereafter 3. Anime - Still watching the good old stuff that is still going on (One Piece, Yu-Gi-Oh,...

It’s taken a long time, but I think my heart is finally at peace. It’s been a tough journey but I am glad to say the worst of it is over. At the moment am surrounded by those who matter to me and I am doing meaningful things. Truly thankful that God has returned me to such a state.  In this season of Good Friday and Easter the word Vanguard comes to mind. Maybe it’s that season of life where God is exactly that for me, where we will be together in uncharted battlegrounds in both personal and professional life.  Not too sure when my next post will be but hope the next will be better than the last. Until next time! 

With all the clutter that’s going on in my head I’ve resolved to return to a simpler lifestyle. No social media (Facebook and Instagram) for me upon switching to the iPhone X today.  Just going back to the old routine of watching anime and YouTube subscriptions in the evenings after work, and making use of Netflix once in awhile. In the evenings during the weekends have started to take long walks. Doing my qt rounds up the rest of the time I’m spending. Am trying to see whether I can squeeze in some gaming. Have found myself staring into space often. Not too sure how long that will last. Another thing I’m thinking of doing is documenting my journey over the past 1+ year. I have a vague idea of how to do it - maybe something like the first season of 13 reasons why. I am thinking it will help me with the recovery. Oh and no worries, I’m not suicidal like the main character in that show. Time to take a walk so until the next post. 

 It’s been nearly 4 years since the last time I posted, but it’s time for me to find myself again amidst the chaos of life. I’ve been through so many good highs but I am at a massively big low at the moment, and some times it feels like there is no more hope.  I have found solace in the beautiful soundtrack of ff13. The haunting melody of “The Promise” and it’s lyrics resonate with me. Make  my wish come true, let darkness fade to light Show me there's still hope, show me it's not over Battles we can win, our struggle lies  within Will we live to greet the dawn? Love will not leave you, hate will not heal you Promise me one day that peace shall reign I honestly don’t know how things ended up this way. What a tragedy. All I can do now is numb my emotions so that I can function normally. Eventually, I really do hope I find peace. This is a step forward, and despite making it with trepidation I know that God is with me, the only one I can trust.  That’s all for now...

Hi all, another anime is done and here I am! It's been ages since I last bowled but it was a great time reliving that when my company went out for Healthy Lifestyle. I'm proud to have done well, bowling 107 then 154! Enjoyed it thoroughly and glad I went. Besides that currently Van and I are going through the marriage preparation course, which has been immensely helpful and has helped us see that we are on the right track although for sure we do have more to work on in our relationship. Together with 4 other couples I think it's been great sharing about our situations, difficulties and past stories to encourage each other. Other than that I've just passed my 2 year mark working at my office and I'll be glad to stay here for as long as I can! Recently we've had a new addition to the office and this has lightened workload. Though there are still many things to settle (reviewing people's assistance), I think the work environment has more or less stabilize...

Hiya everyone! Just signed my permanent staff contract today and I must say that was a real moment of satisfaction. Shows that the 2 years of hard work and dedication to what I do has paid off in a big way and I'm happy with my work. When I started my job I had no idea it would be this fulfilling and enjoyable and I am so blessed to have it. Couple of exciting things are happening: for one a holiday with my family to Korea. Other stuff include pay raises and the bonus that goes with it, Euro 2016 etc. I finally watched a match on Saturday (it was boring) but Sunday night's matches were great. Tonight not too sure if I'll watch any but it's shaping up to be an exciting tournament. Well that's all for now, more updates after the next series!

The previous anime's done and here's a new post! Work is easing up a bit due to help from a new colleague who's come to help us from another branch. He's lightened our workload considerably and that's great! That, coupled with me happening to see not many people is making June a rather more relaxing month. Not looking forward to August though cos that's when workloads will be at their highest! The newest anime I'm watching is Element Hunters, it's about a world where chemical elements start disappearing around the world and only kids who can see them can help solve the problem by defeating monsters in an alternate earth to return the elements back to its original state. An interesting premise, but the anime's style seems more catered to kids. Still ok for me though! Gonna be buying a couple of board games soon hoping to get one for solo play, one for large group games, one that I want and probably a game which is really easy to play. Can't ...

Hi guys its been 2 months since the last post and that was how long I have been watching Major! With 6 seasons and some OVAs it took some time! The Month of April was pretty good but May was when it started getting tough. Have a couple of tough clients to handle, as well as heightening work loads (8 days of duty in June). My office is in a mini crisis, with only one counter staff and 2 failing to turn up, and thus now we have to do counter duties as well which is a huge time sink and it is getting tougher to finish off cases. We'll have to see what we can do though. As a result the past 2 weeks have been exceptionally tiring at work and weekends have become very precious! Glad that this week I finally got a chance to relax well! For the first in a very long time it's a full weekend to myself (in addition to dating Vanessa of course). Vanessa has finally gotten her braces in and she is now able to eat solid food, so we went for Monster Curry, something that she has always lo...

Major is finally finished, so here's a post! Anime List as of 1st June 2016 .hack//Sign + Liminality + Legend of the Twilight + Roots + Quantum 07 Ghost Ah My Goddess + Fighting Wings + Flights Of Fancy Air Gear Air Master Akazukin Cha Cha Akira Amatsuki Angel Sanctuary Angelic Layer Asu No Yoichi Asura Cryin' Avatar + Legend of Korra Ayakashi Ayashi No Ceres Azumanga Daioh Baccano Baki The Grappler Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto Basilisk Basquash Beck Beet The Vandel Buster + Excellion Berserk Black Blood Brothers Black Cat Black Lagoon + The Second Barrage + Roberta's Blood Trail Blade of the Immortal Bleach Blood+ Blue Dragon Bokurano Bokusatsu Tenshi Boys Be Buso Renkin Canaan Cardcaptor Sakura Chobits Chocolate Underground Chrome Shelled Regios Chrono Crusade Clannad + After Story Claymore Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion + R2 Cooking Master Boy Cowboy Bebop Cro...

I'm back! Which means I'm done with inuyasha! Well an old anime from my past which I never finished but I'm glad I have finally come around to doing so. All in all I think the ending series of 26 episodes was pretty good although a lot had to be crammed in it, the ending was satisfactory but not shocking. On to the next anime! Likely to be a sports one as I enjoyed the previous one Cross Game a whole lot. Baseball sounds good! Well youth alpha just finished and I must say it was a good effort by the youth ministry team. Although I've officially left I went back to help out a couple of times and I believe it was a good final contribution to it! It's in really good hands now so I'm glad! Now to focus on music min again! Over the time you guys haven't heard from me I've gone through a couple of great things as part of my work: performance gradings, pay raises, promotions and saving up for the future. I'm glad to say thanks to God's grace that I ...

Phew I'm finally back after 2 weeks having completed Death Note this time. It was my first manga that I ever read and I'm glad that I've finally seen the anime version. Of course I knew what would come but its the cinematics that are quite cool. The anime teaches us what it is like to be corrupted by power and it makes me thankful for the leaders I see in Singapore in a way. Sometimes I wonder what I would do if I were bestowed a special power... I would definitely use it but whether it would corrupt me I can't really tell. The degeneration of an upright person wanting justice for the world into madness was really quite upsetting, but it is the truth of the fallen nature of this world. This weekend was extremely busy, and I was pretty glad despite that because I managed to make use of my skills and talents. Played an instrument first for Andrew's wedding, then Youth Alpha, and later I'll be playing for worship. A music filled weekend! There's a great sens...

Hi all, as promised am back! And I figured it would be easy to tag my blogging to the end of watching an anime series, and that is working out so far! Just finished Ninja Scroll, an action anime about how a wandering ninja (who seems more like a samurai) is thrust into sudden peril when he enters a village, only to find all its inhabitants being hunted down by a group of ninjas who are after a girl in the village. As they journey on they discover the secrets about her identity and face multiple strange assassins until the girl comes face to face with a final choice whether to accept her "destiny" or throw it away in favour of living a normal life. 13 eps only so short one! My life is taking a great turn and all things are working towards drawing me closer to God. For one, Thursdays at 8am I'm attending a prayer group at my workplace, and through it feel revitalized as I commit all my cares to God. I appreciate how my colleagues and I are trying to breathe life into ea...

Hi guys ok I'm back again! This time blogging from my phone. I've figured out how to blog constantly and will be trying to do so once again! 2015 has gone by in a flash and I'm now 1 and a half years on the job already! Lots of changes for the new year, with the first being my transition from ye to music min. God has actually been calling for me to switch for one year before this already and I finally had the trust in Him to switch... For the past year I feel that I've been disobedient to his calling and that has affected my walk with Him. Now that I've made the switch I'm glad to say that my walk is a whole lot better at the start of the new year. And my ministry as leader of team A is something I'm enjoying serving in. Quite excited about the new directions we're heading towards! For anime I've just finished watching Chrome Shelled Regios, which is set in a post apocalyptic world where dangerous beasts roam the wasteland and people have no choi...

Here it is! .hack//Sign + Liminality + Legend of the Twilight + Roots + Quantum 07 Ghost Ah My Goddess + Fighting Wings + Flights Of Fancy Air Gear Air Master Akazukin Cha Cha Akira Amatsuki Angel Sanctuary Angelic Layer Asura Cryin' Avatar + Legend of Korra Ayakashi Ayashi No Ceres Azumanga Daioh Baccano Baki The Grappler Basilisk Basquash Beck Beet The Vandel Buster + Excellion Berserk Black Cat Black Lagoon + The Second Barrage + Roberta's Blood Trail Blade of the Immortal Bleach Blood+ Blue Dragon Bokusatsu Tenshi Boys Be Buso Renkin Cardcaptor Sakura Chobits Chocolate Underground Chrono Crusade Clannad + After Story Claymore Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion + R2 Cooking Master Boy Cowboy Bebop Curious Play D Gray Man Dennou Coil Detective Conan Devil May Cry Digimon Adventure 1 + 2 + Tamers Dragon Ball + Z + GT + Kai E's Otherwise Earth Girl Arjuna Eden Of The Eas...