And so the games day went by splendidly, with the making of new friends and forging of new bonds, and I must say I'm rather excited about the prospects of joint collaborations between Synthesis and YE. I was rather worried initially, but everything panned out pretty good. =)
Which brings me to reflect about why I've always been uptight when it comes to games, and here's where I bring you on a trip back into my memories. (Which we haven't done in a long time)
And so all the way back in primary 5. I was still a game loving person, especially when my form teacher praised me for my sporting actions during games, even daring to do forfeits for the sake of others and things like that. Because of that bit of encouragement, it made all the difference. Forfeits or being embarrassed didn't matter one bit to me at that time.
But all that changed just that year, with my first ever YE camp. And so there were games, which I participated gladly in, until this one charades game where we had to act out the underlined words in the bible verses. And I stepped up to do it, thinking that it'd be alright as usual. And I tried and tried to act it out but couldn't get anyone to solve it. Then after that the person in charge of the game told me this was how I should have done it... And when I saw the disappointed look on the faces of my team members I couldn't help but feel inadequate, especially when the way to act it out could have been so easy.
From then on my weariness in games became fixed, as if ingrained within me. I gained a fear of being embarrassed and letting my team down. Solo games were alright... But team games made me quiver in fear. From then on I knew the power of positive encouragement and a smile, because I didn't see it that day. And I knew that no matter what the outcome of games, to give the person giving his or her all that one smile would make things different.
Well, this fear still didn't mean hatred for games yet, perhaps only avoidance. But what happened when I was in sec 2 or 3 really changed everything. It was when my sense of integrity was beginning to form and going strong. A random indoor games day came along, and I was volunteered to be one of those up in front with a card containing the name of a character on my forehead, and asking questions to get my "identity". There were 4 of us called up, and we stood in front, asking the rest questions. Eventually everyone got theirs right, except me. I was well and truly stuck for awhile, but managed to narrow it down quite a good bit.
And then the unimaginable happened. Someone in the audience mouthed the answer to me, and I stood there horrified. Through that supposed act of kindness I was stuck in a moral dilemma. I could do one of two things. Say out the answer, and have my integrity broken, or stay there and suffer the forfeit. And I chose the latter. That wasn't just it. I stood in front for a good 15 minutes for them to figure out what forfeit I had to do, just because it was in the "rules" of the game, a penalty for failing miserably for the sake of protecting my integrity.
From then on I just saw how evil games could be, to the extent of you having to sacrifice your own sense of morality in order to be "safe" from punishment. From then on I saw games as bringing out the worst in human nature, and hated it to the core. And trust me, I've seen that "worst" a lot of times along the way. And that's why I make certain to follow every rule, and not try to look for loopholes in a game to gain an advantage, playing it fair and square.
Well, all that is now behind me, and I must say because of recent games days this fear and hatred has died down to a whimper. And credits go to the organizers and the people involved. For one, that smile and encouragement is now always present, and the games organizers choose not to put in a reward or punishment system, letting it be games for the sake of fun. Kudos to them for that. And I'm thankful. I've overcome it thanks to them.
But I never want anyone else to come to the same point of suffering as me when it comes to games. And I hope no one around me will.
Which brings me to reflect about why I've always been uptight when it comes to games, and here's where I bring you on a trip back into my memories. (Which we haven't done in a long time)
And so all the way back in primary 5. I was still a game loving person, especially when my form teacher praised me for my sporting actions during games, even daring to do forfeits for the sake of others and things like that. Because of that bit of encouragement, it made all the difference. Forfeits or being embarrassed didn't matter one bit to me at that time.
But all that changed just that year, with my first ever YE camp. And so there were games, which I participated gladly in, until this one charades game where we had to act out the underlined words in the bible verses. And I stepped up to do it, thinking that it'd be alright as usual. And I tried and tried to act it out but couldn't get anyone to solve it. Then after that the person in charge of the game told me this was how I should have done it... And when I saw the disappointed look on the faces of my team members I couldn't help but feel inadequate, especially when the way to act it out could have been so easy.
From then on my weariness in games became fixed, as if ingrained within me. I gained a fear of being embarrassed and letting my team down. Solo games were alright... But team games made me quiver in fear. From then on I knew the power of positive encouragement and a smile, because I didn't see it that day. And I knew that no matter what the outcome of games, to give the person giving his or her all that one smile would make things different.
Well, this fear still didn't mean hatred for games yet, perhaps only avoidance. But what happened when I was in sec 2 or 3 really changed everything. It was when my sense of integrity was beginning to form and going strong. A random indoor games day came along, and I was volunteered to be one of those up in front with a card containing the name of a character on my forehead, and asking questions to get my "identity". There were 4 of us called up, and we stood in front, asking the rest questions. Eventually everyone got theirs right, except me. I was well and truly stuck for awhile, but managed to narrow it down quite a good bit.
And then the unimaginable happened. Someone in the audience mouthed the answer to me, and I stood there horrified. Through that supposed act of kindness I was stuck in a moral dilemma. I could do one of two things. Say out the answer, and have my integrity broken, or stay there and suffer the forfeit. And I chose the latter. That wasn't just it. I stood in front for a good 15 minutes for them to figure out what forfeit I had to do, just because it was in the "rules" of the game, a penalty for failing miserably for the sake of protecting my integrity.
From then on I just saw how evil games could be, to the extent of you having to sacrifice your own sense of morality in order to be "safe" from punishment. From then on I saw games as bringing out the worst in human nature, and hated it to the core. And trust me, I've seen that "worst" a lot of times along the way. And that's why I make certain to follow every rule, and not try to look for loopholes in a game to gain an advantage, playing it fair and square.
Well, all that is now behind me, and I must say because of recent games days this fear and hatred has died down to a whimper. And credits go to the organizers and the people involved. For one, that smile and encouragement is now always present, and the games organizers choose not to put in a reward or punishment system, letting it be games for the sake of fun. Kudos to them for that. And I'm thankful. I've overcome it thanks to them.
But I never want anyone else to come to the same point of suffering as me when it comes to games. And I hope no one around me will.
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