Yesterday was an insanely tough day... Never has a day driven me so much to the brink of exhaustion. It was a combination of really unfortunate circumstances that led to it, rarely do so many minor sources of tiredness all come in a row like yesterday.
First was the issue of tiredness from previous days. Still hadn't recovered from saturday's last minute worship session preparations, sunday's playing for worship, monday's worship prac, tuesday's lecture and to add to all the lack of emotional/mental rest was the serve inauguration, which was a source of problems that I'll talk about later.
Second was the huge amount of money I'd spent on uni books. Almost 180 dollars in total. Really not accustomed to spending so much in one shot. Its almost against my values to have spent that much. Almost made me wonder how I got over it in the first semester. It made the weariness a lot worse, because I'm a value oriented person. Just infringing one of them makes me feel weaker in a way.
Third was that I really really wanted to be down for the Romans teaching at SAC. It felt like I was forsaking the power of God's word for the sake of service and fellowship, which was another value smashed into smithereens on that day.
Fourth came the shock of SERVE inauguration. Suddenly finding out about a change in musicians, and the quality of the keyboard I was using, I was caught totally off guard, something once again against my value of excellence. The worship went well, despite the drain that came with it, and a bonus was that I was able to meet my SERVE friends again. Despite all that there was no avoiding the emotional and mental drain that came with that experience. It was now 3 values in a row that I had failed to uphold.
Fifth my ipod earphones decided to go haywire on me during the trip back. Usually I'd be uncomfortable in the proximity of strangers due to my strong introversion... So how I overcome it usually is to go into my own world of music with my ipod, otherwise it would be even more draining. And so I couldn't for that journey. On the way back the guy sitting on my left felt just like a dementor (from the Harry Potter series) draining my energy though he was just sitting there reading his book. Couldn't help it, cos I was already feeling tired and had to sit down. How unfortunate.
Sixth was that the only way to get away from all that emotional and mental tiredness was to text Vanessa because she'd understand which would make me feel better... But in the middle the reception got cut off and my messages weren't getting sent. At that point it felt like I was alone in the depths of the world of the undead or something to that effect. For a rare moment in my life I felt like I was on the brink.
Oh wells thank God I finally got home and got to lie down on my bed whilst using my netbook. Its days like this that remind you even in the busyness and even in the worst days there is a source of refuge like no other. In my QT the author talked about a glimpse of God, and yesterday I got to catch a glimpse of Him that I'd never got before. A God who heals all fatigue and carries me on his back when I'm at my most broken and weakest. Something that I can only truly experience when I'm on the brink. (which is rare)
So despite it being a bad day yesterday, I cherish it for its another special experience with God.
First was the issue of tiredness from previous days. Still hadn't recovered from saturday's last minute worship session preparations, sunday's playing for worship, monday's worship prac, tuesday's lecture and to add to all the lack of emotional/mental rest was the serve inauguration, which was a source of problems that I'll talk about later.
Second was the huge amount of money I'd spent on uni books. Almost 180 dollars in total. Really not accustomed to spending so much in one shot. Its almost against my values to have spent that much. Almost made me wonder how I got over it in the first semester. It made the weariness a lot worse, because I'm a value oriented person. Just infringing one of them makes me feel weaker in a way.
Third was that I really really wanted to be down for the Romans teaching at SAC. It felt like I was forsaking the power of God's word for the sake of service and fellowship, which was another value smashed into smithereens on that day.
Fourth came the shock of SERVE inauguration. Suddenly finding out about a change in musicians, and the quality of the keyboard I was using, I was caught totally off guard, something once again against my value of excellence. The worship went well, despite the drain that came with it, and a bonus was that I was able to meet my SERVE friends again. Despite all that there was no avoiding the emotional and mental drain that came with that experience. It was now 3 values in a row that I had failed to uphold.
Fifth my ipod earphones decided to go haywire on me during the trip back. Usually I'd be uncomfortable in the proximity of strangers due to my strong introversion... So how I overcome it usually is to go into my own world of music with my ipod, otherwise it would be even more draining. And so I couldn't for that journey. On the way back the guy sitting on my left felt just like a dementor (from the Harry Potter series) draining my energy though he was just sitting there reading his book. Couldn't help it, cos I was already feeling tired and had to sit down. How unfortunate.
Sixth was that the only way to get away from all that emotional and mental tiredness was to text Vanessa because she'd understand which would make me feel better... But in the middle the reception got cut off and my messages weren't getting sent. At that point it felt like I was alone in the depths of the world of the undead or something to that effect. For a rare moment in my life I felt like I was on the brink.
Oh wells thank God I finally got home and got to lie down on my bed whilst using my netbook. Its days like this that remind you even in the busyness and even in the worst days there is a source of refuge like no other. In my QT the author talked about a glimpse of God, and yesterday I got to catch a glimpse of Him that I'd never got before. A God who heals all fatigue and carries me on his back when I'm at my most broken and weakest. Something that I can only truly experience when I'm on the brink. (which is rare)
So despite it being a bad day yesterday, I cherish it for its another special experience with God.
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