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Ethos

In the past when I was younger I wrote a 5 part series to help me get to know myself better. After days of careful reflection and observation of how I was living my life, I wrote those posts. If you're interested they're in the archives, from feb 2005 onwards.

This today is the 6th part, something I could only have discovered after becoming more mature. My ethos: the guiding principles of how I've chosen to live my life, the things that influence my reactions, emotions and thoughts about others. Much like Naruto saying that never giving up is his way of the ninja if you get what I mean.

1. Everything I have is a bonus, the only thing I need is God.

It might be something every Christian talks about, but rarely do you see it truly translated into action, and even then, most Christians don't internalize this concept in their lives until it becomes truly natural. For me... This translates into the thankfulness that I feel no matter where I am and what I have, and also the laid back attitude I take towards possessions.

Paper seems like an ordinary commodity... But when I look at it I marvel at its usefulness and why God gave people the idea that this has been created. I appreciate the computer and its benefits, for with it I am able to experience God's grace. In the midst of the CBD, in a lan shop, at the beach, in my room, I can't help but be amazed every single day at God's gifts to all of us.

Money? Well it doesn't matter to me. Which restaurant would you like to eat at? Anything would be fine. What would you like as a Christmas present? Anything would be fine. These answers are natural because I believe anything that I have is a blessing.

2. Don't expect fairness, but be fair to everyone. Don't expect anything from others, but give everything you've got for their sake.

I'm not sure how and when this value became part of my life. But I suppose its because I know that I myself am a sinner, and so is everyone else on this planet. We are never perfect, and we let people down all the time. I've learned not to expect anything of others, because we are all imperfect.

Do I get disappointed? Not by others, because I know that everyone has their own problems. When people text me to apologize, the answer is always very natural, yet at the same time spoken from my heart. "It's alright, don't worry about it. =)" will be the reply for sure. More often than not I'm the one who disappoints myself, and it is something I am still working on: to be a little easier on myself.

People often complain about how things are never fair, my brothers do that all the time. But I've never come to expect it to be. Often times because I know people are never perfect, I strive to be the best I can be. For my friends, for my family and for God. If I'm treated unfairly, it never matters, as long as I treat others the best I can.

People see me as detached when it comes to relationships. This is because I don't expect anything from my friends, and I'm glad as long as they are happy. I've told SYC this before... But relationships to me have always been secondary. Its a bonus just to know that people love me for who I am.

3. Never give up, ever.

This is quite a recent addition to the way I live my life. It's a result of the failures that I've experienced. Singaporeans often complain that the youth of this day are not resilient enough. I'm trying my best to prove this wrong, but that in itself is not the reason I'm living my life in such a way.

The medicine rejection has played an enormous part in this. The pain of not being given a chance is immense. After that I see the opportunities I get with a whole new perspective. When you're given a place in the world somewhere, it always comes at the cost of someone else. My heart goes out to these people, who are left behind and have their hearts broken.

I strive for excellence and never give up on my endeavors not because it is to my benefit, but for the sake of those whose dreams and ambitions have been crushed and left by the wayside. Just giving up does not do these people any justice and will only hurt them. So it is for these people that I continue strong and never give in to the stress I feel when I've chosen a path to take. I will never give up.

The recently concluded episodes of Survivor and Amazing Race Asia really irked me. Whenever I see someone giving up, I see a weakness, and a lack of consideration for those who want to continue to play the game but never have a chance to do so. Life is a whole lot more important than that.

4. There is more to life than being an achiever.

Tournaments, competitions, the rat race, games... Anything that involves rankings I am a little uncomfortable with. That is because all I see is a clamoring for positions, something that will never matter once you are dead. From the start, a competitive spirit never existed in me. I play, not to win, but to enjoy the experience and learn from it. Winning is a bonus, but should never be the end result that you look for. That is what I truly believe.

I suppose that when I search for my job in the future, I will find something that I truly feel at peace with. It may pay less, I may be working under someone else, I may never be promoted, I may never be at the top of my field, and I may be one of the many people in a sea of mediocrity. But it will be more than enough for me. To be a light shining in whatever nook or cranny I find myself stuffed in.

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That's about it. Will add more if I discover them along the way. But these should be the most important guiding principles in my life right now. Cheers!

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