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Disappointed...

Hmm... I seriously am very disappointed with the attitude within the PoP band. Really. Well, on Friday, you know what happened. That one I still could accept. Just one thing to say about that. No matter how pissed you are, concentrate on God and it'll be fine ok? The big disappointment was on Saturday. Where was all the focus? On the sound quality or God? Where was all the faith? In the drain. Where was all the love? Lost at that one period I guess. Bah. Every single thing we do should be for God, not for ourselves. Even if the sound quality is lousy, even if its good, even if we do it downstairs, even if we do it upstairs... God will do his will. Does it really matter where we do it? No. I just don't get why there was even a discussion. Thinking too much about technicalities instead of God proves something. We aren't taking enough time to examine ourselves as a band for Christ. Instead we think about other kinds of stuff. Wordly stuff. Well... Sorry. Didn't mean to be this blunt.

MINDs... Well. My buddy was really nice. Just that he was mute. And we had a bit of trouble communicating. Otherwise, he was really fun to be with. He just has that smile that really calms me down... After Friday, it was quite a breath of fresh air you know? Finally I have some point of time to just relax. He liked soccer too! And he liked athletic stuff, just like me. And he really believed that there was something out there watching out for him no matter where he went. Although he couldn't understand the concept of God. For some reason, although we couldn't communicate, we were real close, like real friends. It got me thinking. Disabled people have more faith on something than we do. Isn't that an embarrassment? Bah.

Well, during YE, tried to act happy, but I wasn't. But it worked though. I don't think the respect I had for some people initially would come back so fast. But I don't think this disappointment would put a stop to the relationship between God and me. Never. Thats the reason why I was still in the room doing worship. Instead of just skipping YE all together.

One thing that I realised about myself is that I'm truly following the path that I believe God has set out for me. Its making me into someone who puts God first, and not anything else. Thats how I saw the flaws in others. Thats how I can be such a "nice guy" even in or after ugly situations. My focus isn't on the people who disappoint, its on God. And I'm happy the way I am now. Really.

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