Wells, this is section number one of the research I've done on myself.
Some of you people may think I'm crazy, doing stuff like that, but I have my reasons. During the Christmas Season, Aunty Karfoon gave me a note. The sentence that really hit me was ths one: "Don't aspire to become anything other than the Benjamin God has designed." Only then did I realise that I didn't know what being myself was all about. I didn't know true my natural habits, my true relationships, my true likes, my true dislikes or my true personality. Neither did I know what God wants me to be... So thats the reason. Hope you guys understand that I did this for myself and for God, but I'm telling you guys all these stuff because I believe that as my friends you guys have a right to know...
Well...
I was born on the last day of July, in the morning at about 10am. By birth wasn't special or anything, but totally normal. My grandma and mum came up with the name Jun Jie, and because my mom respected one of Singapore's presidents, Benjamin Sheares, she named me Benjamin. (Thats what she told me.) So thats how my name came about.
I spent my years as a toddler at home, where my mom would give me lots of toy cars, which I would lay out on the floor in lines. Somehow, I never got bored of that... I read picture books and flash cards too. I started walking, talking, and reading at the age of one. I was quite cute too. Maybe thats why they pampered me too much. Wells.
From young, I went to St James Church, together with Nicholas Eng, Rachel and Mel. I don't really remember anything much there, except the large cupboard full of toys. I remember all the toys we used to play with. Haha. The cupboard was so tall then. St. James was ok, but my parents, Auntie Anne, Auntie Jenny and Auntie Florence decided to move to COGS, my dad's old church. I wasn't too happy in COGS to tell the truth. They didn't have as many toys. I remember dreading to go there because of that. Haha. I did learn a lot about God though, and I respected him at that time. (Cos he would give me rewards. Haha.)
Soon, I got enrolled in the nursery near my grandma's house, and I didn't like nursery either. Because I spent lots of time by myself at home, I was never comfortable interacting with stangers. I didn't make any friends there. I guess I was kinda like a spoilt brat then. I'd cry if I didn't have my way. I think my parents thought that I cried because I was scared, but not actually. Sometimes I cried in church too.
Soon, kindergarten came and the same happened. This time, the children there weren't too happy. They were smart enough to discern a loner + a spoilt brat for themselves, and I became the butt of their jokes. I didn't care though. I did make some friends, who came up to me, but I made more enemies. The friend who I can remember was Yi Rong. Nice girl!
My parents put me in Piano Classes at Yamaha, and the same thing happened. Haha. 5 years wasted just like that. Argh... But I guess it wasn't wasted actually. Part of that helped me become what I am now...
Wells, then the most horrible thing I could never have thought of happened. My grandma on my mom's side died. I saw her die myself. With my own eyes. I had no idea what was happening, but when I did, I blamed myself. Thats when I changed. I knew there was a reason I was being ridiculed by my classmates. And this very same reason is the reason why God was making this happen to my grandma. And it was because of me. Thats why I changed. The night of the funeral was really bad for me. I cried like crazy when my mom brought me up to the house to rest and left me there. I cried to myself. I cried until there were no more tears. Since then, I never ever cried when something bad happened.
Primary school came, and I learnt a bit of how to make friends, although I wasn't very good. I couldn't remember names well you see. In Primary school, I saw people who were more stuck up than I was in the past, but I'd learnt that it was because of how they were brought up, just as I was. I didn't pick on them, and I was the only one who didn't. Thats how I made friends in P1-3. Then, I sat for the GEP test. Got through round one, two, three. Could go on to better primary schools. Chose not to. I decided that the best way to learn from my past mistakes was to stay here, where people had more vivid and exciting tales of life. Thats why I stayed on in a neighbourhood school.
People came to me for help. After my grandma's death, I became more able to sense a person's true thoughts, and this has helped me advise people, or correct misconceptions that people might have about someone else. The only thing I'm clueless about is love. Haha. My journey with God broadened, but I still lacked that certain passion for God, the desire to learn and obey throughout my life.
Wells, I searched for the CCA (It was called ECA then) I liked. The decision I made was not based on what I was good at, but what I had interest in. I tried swimming and table tennis, but I had no interest in either. So I went for the only ECA that was left: Library. I found that I liked it there. The library had a certain homey feeling that intrigued me. So since P4, I worked there on Saturdays.
As the years passed, I became somewhat like a slacker. I didn't know how it happened, but it did. I lazed around in school, joked, played, had fun. My main focus wasn't about results. Everything I did in my life then was about me enjoying the childhood I had missed when I was young. I used to get 4th every year from P1 to P3, but this trend stopped when I was in P4. The girls talked to me more, and the guys also. I felt really happy then. I made lots of good friends which I still have now. Song Hua, Serene, Joel, Shi Xian, Zhi Yong, Preetha, Wan Ru, Jing Hui, Lee Yang, Jun Xiong, Guo Tong, Nina, Jie Ying, Ting Ting and lots more.
I, Preetha, Zhi Yong and Joel were in charge of the backstage of the hall, and thats where I picked up some AV skills, although I'm quite rusty now.
PSLE was just around the corner. I had my prelims and was still in slacker mode. I got 243. Almost last in my class. It didn't bother me though. I didn't care about my results at all. Only until something happened. Just before PSLE, I kinda asked a certain girl whether she would like to be my girlfriend, but she declined. That kinda snapped me out of slacker mode. I'll have to thank her, if I can still find her now. That made me concentrate on my studies. Although I didn't care about the results, the only thing that everyone was doing was studying. So I followed and worked as hard as I could.
The day of reckoning came. And I looked at my score sheet. 265. Wow. I couldn't believe it. I became second in school. My name is still on that board in school cos I got 4 A*s. Haha.
The change from Primary to Secondary life didn't go to well for me. I disliked change. I didn't want to go to YE, I didn't want to go to RI, I didn't want to leave. I would trick my parents that I still had CCA on Saturday (Although my Duties ended already) to come and look at the school for the last time. I liked being in the hall when there was no one. The hall was where all my happy memories were.
Change came, and I decided that in my journey with God, there had to be something to kick start my passion. So I took the guitar courses by uncle Shung Hin. I was quite good for a beginner. Somehow, this gave me the power to enrich my journey with God. I'd take out my guitar every other day to sing praises to him, and I still do that. The days when I miss quiet time would be the days I'd praise him. Going to YE was ok, and it improved day by day. I liked aunty Doris, and she helped me along the way. I'm eternally grateful. Then it was Mel Ng, then May Ying, Yan Fen then Jon who helped me along the path. Now its Auntie Karfoon and Shirley. Thank you for your help...
In RI, I pretty much use the same skills I used in P1-P3 to earn everyone's respect. They made friends with me, both the muggers (Those who like to study) and also the slackers. (Those who like to play). RI's a weird place. The people there can be classified into 4 different kinds, but I won't talk about that now. I was kinda like a bridge in between both kind of people in my class. I'm the only one who has relations with both sides I think. This is how its been ever since.
I joined the GE, for obvious reasons, and then I became the Vice Chairman in sec 3. My journey with God became personal and filled with love, and I can still feel it now. I realised that I've been blessed all my life, although there were some rough parts. These rough parts were what made me the way I am now. Special.
Though it all
You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with your hand
And lead me in your righteousness
Pre-chorus:
And I look to you
And I wait on you
Chorus:
I'll sing to you Lord, a hymn of love
For your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all...
Bridge:
Hallelujah, Hallelujah...
Theres more, but I kinda forgot some parts. Well...
Thanks for reading this. Love you all. Ben.
Some of you people may think I'm crazy, doing stuff like that, but I have my reasons. During the Christmas Season, Aunty Karfoon gave me a note. The sentence that really hit me was ths one: "Don't aspire to become anything other than the Benjamin God has designed." Only then did I realise that I didn't know what being myself was all about. I didn't know true my natural habits, my true relationships, my true likes, my true dislikes or my true personality. Neither did I know what God wants me to be... So thats the reason. Hope you guys understand that I did this for myself and for God, but I'm telling you guys all these stuff because I believe that as my friends you guys have a right to know...
Well...
I was born on the last day of July, in the morning at about 10am. By birth wasn't special or anything, but totally normal. My grandma and mum came up with the name Jun Jie, and because my mom respected one of Singapore's presidents, Benjamin Sheares, she named me Benjamin. (Thats what she told me.) So thats how my name came about.
I spent my years as a toddler at home, where my mom would give me lots of toy cars, which I would lay out on the floor in lines. Somehow, I never got bored of that... I read picture books and flash cards too. I started walking, talking, and reading at the age of one. I was quite cute too. Maybe thats why they pampered me too much. Wells.
From young, I went to St James Church, together with Nicholas Eng, Rachel and Mel. I don't really remember anything much there, except the large cupboard full of toys. I remember all the toys we used to play with. Haha. The cupboard was so tall then. St. James was ok, but my parents, Auntie Anne, Auntie Jenny and Auntie Florence decided to move to COGS, my dad's old church. I wasn't too happy in COGS to tell the truth. They didn't have as many toys. I remember dreading to go there because of that. Haha. I did learn a lot about God though, and I respected him at that time. (Cos he would give me rewards. Haha.)
Soon, I got enrolled in the nursery near my grandma's house, and I didn't like nursery either. Because I spent lots of time by myself at home, I was never comfortable interacting with stangers. I didn't make any friends there. I guess I was kinda like a spoilt brat then. I'd cry if I didn't have my way. I think my parents thought that I cried because I was scared, but not actually. Sometimes I cried in church too.
Soon, kindergarten came and the same happened. This time, the children there weren't too happy. They were smart enough to discern a loner + a spoilt brat for themselves, and I became the butt of their jokes. I didn't care though. I did make some friends, who came up to me, but I made more enemies. The friend who I can remember was Yi Rong. Nice girl!
My parents put me in Piano Classes at Yamaha, and the same thing happened. Haha. 5 years wasted just like that. Argh... But I guess it wasn't wasted actually. Part of that helped me become what I am now...
Wells, then the most horrible thing I could never have thought of happened. My grandma on my mom's side died. I saw her die myself. With my own eyes. I had no idea what was happening, but when I did, I blamed myself. Thats when I changed. I knew there was a reason I was being ridiculed by my classmates. And this very same reason is the reason why God was making this happen to my grandma. And it was because of me. Thats why I changed. The night of the funeral was really bad for me. I cried like crazy when my mom brought me up to the house to rest and left me there. I cried to myself. I cried until there were no more tears. Since then, I never ever cried when something bad happened.
Primary school came, and I learnt a bit of how to make friends, although I wasn't very good. I couldn't remember names well you see. In Primary school, I saw people who were more stuck up than I was in the past, but I'd learnt that it was because of how they were brought up, just as I was. I didn't pick on them, and I was the only one who didn't. Thats how I made friends in P1-3. Then, I sat for the GEP test. Got through round one, two, three. Could go on to better primary schools. Chose not to. I decided that the best way to learn from my past mistakes was to stay here, where people had more vivid and exciting tales of life. Thats why I stayed on in a neighbourhood school.
People came to me for help. After my grandma's death, I became more able to sense a person's true thoughts, and this has helped me advise people, or correct misconceptions that people might have about someone else. The only thing I'm clueless about is love. Haha. My journey with God broadened, but I still lacked that certain passion for God, the desire to learn and obey throughout my life.
Wells, I searched for the CCA (It was called ECA then) I liked. The decision I made was not based on what I was good at, but what I had interest in. I tried swimming and table tennis, but I had no interest in either. So I went for the only ECA that was left: Library. I found that I liked it there. The library had a certain homey feeling that intrigued me. So since P4, I worked there on Saturdays.
As the years passed, I became somewhat like a slacker. I didn't know how it happened, but it did. I lazed around in school, joked, played, had fun. My main focus wasn't about results. Everything I did in my life then was about me enjoying the childhood I had missed when I was young. I used to get 4th every year from P1 to P3, but this trend stopped when I was in P4. The girls talked to me more, and the guys also. I felt really happy then. I made lots of good friends which I still have now. Song Hua, Serene, Joel, Shi Xian, Zhi Yong, Preetha, Wan Ru, Jing Hui, Lee Yang, Jun Xiong, Guo Tong, Nina, Jie Ying, Ting Ting and lots more.
I, Preetha, Zhi Yong and Joel were in charge of the backstage of the hall, and thats where I picked up some AV skills, although I'm quite rusty now.
PSLE was just around the corner. I had my prelims and was still in slacker mode. I got 243. Almost last in my class. It didn't bother me though. I didn't care about my results at all. Only until something happened. Just before PSLE, I kinda asked a certain girl whether she would like to be my girlfriend, but she declined. That kinda snapped me out of slacker mode. I'll have to thank her, if I can still find her now. That made me concentrate on my studies. Although I didn't care about the results, the only thing that everyone was doing was studying. So I followed and worked as hard as I could.
The day of reckoning came. And I looked at my score sheet. 265. Wow. I couldn't believe it. I became second in school. My name is still on that board in school cos I got 4 A*s. Haha.
The change from Primary to Secondary life didn't go to well for me. I disliked change. I didn't want to go to YE, I didn't want to go to RI, I didn't want to leave. I would trick my parents that I still had CCA on Saturday (Although my Duties ended already) to come and look at the school for the last time. I liked being in the hall when there was no one. The hall was where all my happy memories were.
Change came, and I decided that in my journey with God, there had to be something to kick start my passion. So I took the guitar courses by uncle Shung Hin. I was quite good for a beginner. Somehow, this gave me the power to enrich my journey with God. I'd take out my guitar every other day to sing praises to him, and I still do that. The days when I miss quiet time would be the days I'd praise him. Going to YE was ok, and it improved day by day. I liked aunty Doris, and she helped me along the way. I'm eternally grateful. Then it was Mel Ng, then May Ying, Yan Fen then Jon who helped me along the path. Now its Auntie Karfoon and Shirley. Thank you for your help...
In RI, I pretty much use the same skills I used in P1-P3 to earn everyone's respect. They made friends with me, both the muggers (Those who like to study) and also the slackers. (Those who like to play). RI's a weird place. The people there can be classified into 4 different kinds, but I won't talk about that now. I was kinda like a bridge in between both kind of people in my class. I'm the only one who has relations with both sides I think. This is how its been ever since.
I joined the GE, for obvious reasons, and then I became the Vice Chairman in sec 3. My journey with God became personal and filled with love, and I can still feel it now. I realised that I've been blessed all my life, although there were some rough parts. These rough parts were what made me the way I am now. Special.
Though it all
You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with your hand
And lead me in your righteousness
Pre-chorus:
And I look to you
And I wait on you
Chorus:
I'll sing to you Lord, a hymn of love
For your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all...
Bridge:
Hallelujah, Hallelujah...
Theres more, but I kinda forgot some parts. Well...
Thanks for reading this. Love you all. Ben.
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