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Bittersweet

Its been a horrible day, one that trumped even that sense of helplessness I felt when I was sick before SERVE mission trip, and could nearly compare to the weekend in camp feeling so disappointed at the results of my med apps.

Well, a simple call spoiled a perfectly normal, good day. It made me think so much about the church camp and how I've been planning for everything. Various negative emotions have made their way into my heart, and I think now's the perfect time to let it all out.

Its a long story, but in a nutshell I'm really angry at myself for being angry at others involved in the church camp. I've been a person who prides himself in good self-control, but I've acted out of line... Each of the people I'm angry at have a legitimate reason for acting the way they did, and blaming them isn't justified in anyway. But most of all, as part of the camp comm I should be a champion of the theme: Be One, Be Blessed. And my actions and emotions aren't up to par with that.

I need God right now, to open up my hardened, angered heart. Only He can make a bad day good.

But right now... I'm on my way to having a bittersweet camp. I know I'll enjoy myself, but I've really hurt myself bad along the way. Oh well I've got 3 days to get my mentality right and myself right with God before I begin to serve. And nothing is impossible for Him. Cheers and onward to the camp!

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