I absolutely hate tearful goodbyes. Although I show absolutely no hint of emotion don't be decieved, I understand exactly what it means to leave so many people you love, to be apart from them for 6 years because of studies. After all, I've thought about taking that route before. Honestly I respect Amanda for her courage. Not only to leave for such a long duration, not only to leave for some place foreign, but also to leave her friends.
I've been thinking. I don't fear many things. But my greatest fear of all is not of death or suffering, but the loss of my friends, even if it were just for 6 years. I don't have the same courage she does to face that fear. I don't wanna miss a thing...
But on the other hand... I've thought a lot about how people would react if I left. How powerful would the bonds between me and others around me be? I've already lost contact with so many people till the point that I believe that there wouldn't be many people who would cry for me upon my departure. And suddenly theres a realisation that I can be a pretty cold (those two words don't seem right together huh) person. But thats just who I am.
Anyways... All the best Amanda. Psalms 121 was a really apt chapter for you. Even if you may not see this... May the blessings of the Lord be with you now and always.
***
The power of nature is absolutely beautiful and inspiring. I learnt that over the previous two shifts of OVL duty. While you have nothing to do at all, looking a the scenery is the best way to while away your time. Its been a long time since I've sat down to look at the sun set or sun rise. As much as I want to complain about doing nothing at all, these periods of time have given me time to think.
I was talking with the MP who was together with me on my 3rd duty, and he made me realise many things about this world that I'm not familiar with. He's a guy who shares exactly the same interests as me: guitar, anime, RPG games... But he's born into such a different situation. Sometimes I just have to give thanks for my situation.
Besides that got time to interact with a few animals. On my 2nd duty a monkey came by. So we fed him a butter cake. Then on my 3rd duty a pair of cats came by while I was sleeping. Quite friendly... One of them climbed up onto my safari bed and curled up beside me. When I woke up I was a little surprised yes, but it reminded me that someone was always close no matter where I was and what I was doing. It seemed like He had sent those animals to bring me comfort.
If theres a job I would like to do for only a day it would be zookeeping. =) I've never realised that animals could give me search a large sense of comfort.
***
I'm a little worried about the worship team cell. To me BS is one of the more important things in YE, behind a person's QT and prayer. Its when people come together to share their innermost feelings and thoughts, not give one lined model answers. Wondering what I can do to change that.
Even more so worried for my brother. Not only because he seems indifferent or aloof during BS sessions, but he's now showing an absolute lack of self control, self motivation in his studies. In the words of PC Edwin: "If I can't entrust you to do something so simple (in the case of my brother its studying), how can I trust you with?" If he can't be committed to his studies, how can I expect him to be truly committed to the worship team?
And what I mean by true commitment isn't just the service, but also the pains and inconveniences, the sacrifices and duties that have to be done. I believe if I suddenly make the worship trainings, practises, BSs regimental (just like the army) and insanely disciplined, some of them would just give up being in the worship team. Things for them are still a bit too cushiony. But I'm currently in no position to make any changes.
Argh too many things are out of my hands. But I hope a worship team leaders meeting is coming soon. Due to all that thinking time I've got a couple of ideas to improve things not only spiritually but administratively. Ehheh I like being strong in the blue.
Aite so long post this time... Don't expect one the next time round.
I've been thinking. I don't fear many things. But my greatest fear of all is not of death or suffering, but the loss of my friends, even if it were just for 6 years. I don't have the same courage she does to face that fear. I don't wanna miss a thing...
But on the other hand... I've thought a lot about how people would react if I left. How powerful would the bonds between me and others around me be? I've already lost contact with so many people till the point that I believe that there wouldn't be many people who would cry for me upon my departure. And suddenly theres a realisation that I can be a pretty cold (those two words don't seem right together huh) person. But thats just who I am.
Anyways... All the best Amanda. Psalms 121 was a really apt chapter for you. Even if you may not see this... May the blessings of the Lord be with you now and always.
***
The power of nature is absolutely beautiful and inspiring. I learnt that over the previous two shifts of OVL duty. While you have nothing to do at all, looking a the scenery is the best way to while away your time. Its been a long time since I've sat down to look at the sun set or sun rise. As much as I want to complain about doing nothing at all, these periods of time have given me time to think.
I was talking with the MP who was together with me on my 3rd duty, and he made me realise many things about this world that I'm not familiar with. He's a guy who shares exactly the same interests as me: guitar, anime, RPG games... But he's born into such a different situation. Sometimes I just have to give thanks for my situation.
Besides that got time to interact with a few animals. On my 2nd duty a monkey came by. So we fed him a butter cake. Then on my 3rd duty a pair of cats came by while I was sleeping. Quite friendly... One of them climbed up onto my safari bed and curled up beside me. When I woke up I was a little surprised yes, but it reminded me that someone was always close no matter where I was and what I was doing. It seemed like He had sent those animals to bring me comfort.
If theres a job I would like to do for only a day it would be zookeeping. =) I've never realised that animals could give me search a large sense of comfort.
***
I'm a little worried about the worship team cell. To me BS is one of the more important things in YE, behind a person's QT and prayer. Its when people come together to share their innermost feelings and thoughts, not give one lined model answers. Wondering what I can do to change that.
Even more so worried for my brother. Not only because he seems indifferent or aloof during BS sessions, but he's now showing an absolute lack of self control, self motivation in his studies. In the words of PC Edwin: "If I can't entrust you to do something so simple (in the case of my brother its studying), how can I trust you with
And what I mean by true commitment isn't just the service, but also the pains and inconveniences, the sacrifices and duties that have to be done. I believe if I suddenly make the worship trainings, practises, BSs regimental (just like the army) and insanely disciplined, some of them would just give up being in the worship team. Things for them are still a bit too cushiony. But I'm currently in no position to make any changes.
Argh too many things are out of my hands. But I hope a worship team leaders meeting is coming soon. Due to all that thinking time I've got a couple of ideas to improve things not only spiritually but administratively. Ehheh I like being strong in the blue.
Aite so long post this time... Don't expect one the next time round.
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