BenLow's blog

Here goes... The final anime list of mine for 2009, correct as of today. Probably not gonna add to the list until next year. From the time you've seen this list in June, approximately 20 new series have been added; some from the past, and others I've recently watched. Ah My Goddess + Fighting Wings + Flights Of Fancy Akazukin Cha Cha Angel Sanctuary Angelic Layer Avatar Ayashi No Ceres Basilisk Bleach (still ongoing) Blood+ Bokusatsu Tenshi Boys Be Chobits Chrono Crusade Clannad + After Story Cooking Master Boy Cowboy Bebop Curious Play Devil May Cry Digimon Adventure 1 + 2 + Tamers Elfen Lied Fairy Tail (Still ongoing) Flame of Recca Fruits Basket Full Metal Alchemist + Brotherhood (Still ongoing) Full Metal Panic + Fumoffu + Second Raid Gatekeepers (haven't watched the new one though) Getbackers Ghost Hound Girls Bravo Grander Musashi Gravitation Hellsing (haven't watched the new one though) I My Me Strawberry Eggs Inukami! Kaleido Star Karas The Legend of Condor Hero...

Went down to church today to help out for the Christmas drama for main service. Was a bit unwilling, but got into the mood... I guess helping out in little things is really refreshing after all. One thing that I've learnt today about myself is despite my thin stature and small muscles, I am pretty strong. Who knows how strong I'll be if I train even more lol. The overall experience was eye opening; a combination of adult, young adult, youth, pastoral staff and people from an external church were down to lend their support in various ways, and that was what really inspired me. Tomorrow is gonna be another huge day for those helping out, and I'm looking forward to it. Hope to see more youth... But the most special thing for me is every year I get to help out in a different way. Two years ago was playing bass for the band during christmas. Last year was an usher outside: which means I didn't get to watch any performances... And this year, I am a logistics helper for a dram...

Was quite upset when I read todays paper... Next year I'll be free to watch the World Cup, but there is a possibility there won't be coverage for the people of Singapore. Oh well... =(

Hi all... Back from camp. It was short, but sweet, in many ways. Well, some questions you may ask me would include: Was it fun? Did you make many friends? Did you get closer to the people in your youth group? Were the sessions good? Were the games interesting? Those are great questions, and I'd answer them with a resounding yes. But I guess theres something a lot more important than those. Was God glorified? I believe so, and thats what I think was most important, and what made the camp a 100% success. One thing I've learnt and will continue to hold dear will be the importance of waiting on the Lord in silence, not doing anything else. It was obviously the catalyst for a lot of the ministering and movement of the Holy Spirit. And I believe it'll be very very useful for me in my relationship with God. To all who went and were ministered to... May God continue to speak to you as you wait for his whispers. To everyone... God bless! =)

The number's been coming back to say hi now and then. It almost seems that every time I take a look at a time piece its been that way. I guess those numbers are showing how precious they are to me at this moment since I never really let it sink in a month ago. Ah wells. Super excited about tomorrow! Have bad memories of M'sia cos of the car disappearing incident... But oh well time to go for camp. I hope it'll be a time of enjoyment, renewal and new convictions... Filled with the glory and presence of God. Here we go...

I enjoyed the centenary services thoroughly; singing the songs, listening to sermons, watching the anglican church of Singapore in all its splendour. It was a truly splendid event, with so many churches involved. Personally, I felt it very refreshing to be involved because it was something that only happens once every 100 years, and ushering helped me to smile a lot more than I usually do. Not forgetting all the short periods of time I spent talking to all the different types of people involved, and of course YE as well. Offering these simple 5 loaves and 2 fishes I had, to serve in ushering was a truly humbling experience. Being able to serve over 10000 people helped me think of how small I was, and how big God is. Serving alongside youth willing to offer up what little they had, no matter how tired they would end up was another thing I felt really happy about. And the best thing of it all is that I feel that I have gotten closer to all of the YE kids as a whole. I was always wonderin...

The toughest part of growing up is having your dreams shattered. That was one thing I realised today as I was looking at fb statuses. For me it was a very real thing, and it was really painful for me. In the past when I got emo and sad it usually lasted only a couple of days. But nowadays emo streaks go away less easily. So I, like the rational dude I am, went back through my old posts to see when all the long emo streaks started. And yes, I have found an answer. It all started after the med rejection letter came. Somehow because of that, I have changed in some ways... The emo thing is one thing. Other ways I've changed include a discovery of how weak I really am, and that has translated into a few bad things. Low self confidence, a wavering trust in my bright future and a creeping doubt that others do not respect me, love me and care for me in their heart like they actually appear to. Its made it more difficult for me to love others than it alread is because I'm afraid of find...

Ahaha... Didn't think that this was something to laugh about but I've finally realised how low my self-esteem actually was. It just is kinda ironic. Someone with such a great list of abilities, talents like mine shouldn't feel inadequate, but there just is more to life than that right. Its really funny when you think about it. I really wish I could elaborate more but I guess theres no point to it right. Lol. To tell the truth I already know why I'm not as confident as I should be. But I'd like to buy a cookie for anyone else who knows why I'm feeling this way. So feel free to guess. Sigh.

Oh oh oh forgot to update about this... I've been really excited about it and finally started to learn a bit of it today. Sign language! Yeah... Its the most "logical" language in the world IMO. Before I tell you guys what I've learnt so far let me tell you why I wanted to start learning it. It was sec 4 I believe... The MINDs carnival we had pretty much inspired me cos I was paired up with a deaf/mute kid which was really really cute. He kept moving his hands but I didn't really know what he wanted to tell me until he showed it to me. There was that time he needed to go to the toilet but I had no idea until he dragged me into the washroom lol. Yup so thats the story. Despite me not understanding him he was still pretty happy in the end... But I guess if I'd known sign language he'd be even happier. =) So now I'm at the basics. Stuff I've learnt: 1. Signing the alphabet 2. Signing numbers including a thousand and a million 3. Signing tenses (-ed, -...

I was wondering when my yearly sickness would come this year, seeing that I haven't gotten sick for such a long time, and the trend was to have one bout of major flu/cough/fever etc etc every year. Yup it has come, in the form of a 38.6 degree fever plus body aches, which started on saturday afternoon but was gone by today. Haha this yearly sickness thing brings back memories, especially of the past 2 years. Last year I had this sickness around april/may during my signals course. It helped me see the good side of a certain sergeant that everyone else seemed to dislike but I empathised with. When I got sick he treated me with a lot of care (maybe cos he knew I wasn't a kengster like some of my plt mates), even getting an ambulance to send me to tengah air base medical centre cos it was quite late at night. It was a real blessing seeing that even in the army such care was even given to a trainee. Two years ago... Who can forget the string of smses sent by the loving people of 07S...

Well, yesterday was my ORD date... And the more I think about it the more I do not want to flaunt it. Everybody is going to go through it eventually, and there really is no point announcing it to the whole world. It only helps you yourself feel better, has no effect on those already out of army and makes those who are still in more depressed. As much as I'd like to write a lengthy post on how its helped me and things like that, I've decided against it. Looking instead at the big picture, its a scintillating story of how God will still be there even when there's a huge desert to be traversed. On the way you trek across enormous sand dunes, brave the desert storms and withstand the searing heat. On the way you find mysterious caverns worth exploring, you see wildlife you have never come across, you learn to adapt and change. On the way you come across great treasures, an oasis and places of great comfort that you learn to enjoy. The other explorers around me sometimes love th...

Need I say more? Rawr.

I felt that today was a pretty tiring day, although I did nothing much. Waking up considerably early is one thing. But even more draining is the feeling of nervousness before playing/doing something in front of a large group of people. Felt the same way when preparing the stuff for BB lifeskills camp. =S One thing that really bugs me is my tendency to expect perfectionism from myself, each and every thing I do. Even when it comes to something simple like playing a song on the piano. I'd talked it over to myself countless times, telling myself that God was in control and that He would help me, but that didn't stop me running through the notes and fingerings again and again in my mind. Practically through most of the service I had this tune stuck in my head. And that has sort of set the mood for this period where I'm becoming more free (in terms of NS). I'm feeling because of this problem of mine all the things I'm getting involved in will encumber me, make me tire o...

Hmm currently enjoying myself, but still got my hands partially full with BB Lifeskills camp stuff, not to mention some errands to run at BBDC. Oh not forgetting the hymn on Sunday and the YE leaders meeting. Reading through Shaman King manga now to see how different the anime is, and boy is it worlds apart. Other things to pass the time include a facebook game called Mythmonger which is pretty fun, and easy to play in between manga/anime sessions. Ah thats all for this week. Shiawase!

Its been ages since I've updated anybody on how I spend my week, so here goes... Monday - At home Tuesday - At home Wednesday - At home Thursday - In camp Friday - At home Saturday - At home + in church Sunday - In Church I guess that's been my past 2 weeks. Heheheh. 22 days to ORD, 3.5 days in camp left. Impt things: 22nd Oct - In camp 23rd Oct - Dental FFI, Meet with Sam 24th Oct - BB Officers and Helpers retreat 25th Oct - Church 26th Oct - 3rd driving lesson Next month: Playing offertory on 1st Nov, Medical FFI, YE leaders meeting, ORD! *** I'm always reminded of how much of a sinner I am. Sigh. But like Rev Peter says, its always good to present yourself for cleansing over and over again, asking for His forgiveness. Though I'm a sinner, I hope I can be of use to Him, especially as there are so many decisions that have to be made for the future, for His glory. Here goes... The final stretch. It'll be easy, but its no time to get complacent. After its done, I...

I've waited for this day for a long time... Just 30 days to go. With 21 months already past, just 1 month is no kick baby! Aside from that, watch Angelic Layer. Its pretty good, tho only the dubs are out on youtube. And Fairy Tail's out in Japan today! Although getting access to it may be a bit difficult... We'll see.

A few things that I've learnt the past few days: 1. I'm never too old to learn something good from my youth group 2. I'm never too young to serve in ways I've never done before 3. I'm never too alone wherever I go 4. I'm never too rusty at things I've missed out doing for a long time 5. I'm never too proud to not bow down to those who deserve my respect 6. I'm never too weak to not be able to stand in the sun for a long time 7. I'm never too tired to not be able to cheer my friends on 8. I'm never too disillusioned to believe that there's no one here to help me 9. I'm never too noisy to not turn someone a listening ear 10. I'm never too introverted to not be able to bear my heart to someone dear 11. I'm never too aloof to turn my cheek away from something I cannot bear to see And... 12. God's never too forgetful to not remind you about these things that you've always experienced but never realised. How Great Is Our God...

I've decided to come up with another list, this time of songs from anime that I've learnt over my NS cycle... Guitar: Life - Yui (Bleach) Nakushita Kotoba - No Regret Life (Naruto) Memories - Maki Otsuki (One Piece) Sky Chord ~ Otona Ni Naru Kimi He - Tsuji Shion (Bleach) Again - Yui (Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood) Piano Chiisana Te No Hira - Eufonius (Clannad After Story) This Love - Angela Aki (Blood+) The newest being This Love by Angela Aki. Quite a simple yet meaningful song, and the piano riff at the start is quite catchy hmms. Oh but the transposition up a semitone makes things difficult. THIS LOVE - ANGELA AKI “Ai ga areba heiwa da” to Dareka ga kuchi ni shiteita Unazuku hito mo ireba, utagau hito mo iru Kurushimi ga aru kara koso Anata wo dakishimeru toki Sono ude no yasashi sa wo Heiwa to kanjiru no deshou Aru toki kara mukuchi ni nari kokoro wo shimekiri Kono koi ga hikisakare sou ni natta *Kasaneta kono te wo Kondo wa hanasa nai Shinjiru chikara ga...

Looking forward to the coming week! =)

A few sad things happened over the week in camp. Not to me, but I guess it still left an impact. It showed me that although I'm leaving... 8 Signal still plays a big part in my life even now. List of sad things: 1. Jacky going to DB Some people say that he deserved it... I think that they're right but can't help but feel a bit sad for him. After all, to an ORDing person nothing is worse than extending your date of departure. And from what I've seen on facebook, the days in there were very bad. And especially cos he's a friend in Christ as well. Made me feel quite unhappy hearing the bad news on thursday. 2. Restructuring Well, my battalion's gonna merge with other parts of the army, so as of 8th Oct, there will be no more 8 Signal. Made me think of all the things I've achieved till now, and how meaningless those things would become once the battalion changes. Another piece of bad news is that the technology that we use is phasing out. Those nights of tough t...

Back from Thailand... Didn't do much there except watch a few cultural shows and shop around. Pics... Maybe, but I'm feeling lazy and in the mood for some anime and PSP relaxation, so don't expect any pics soon lol. Oh finally got to watch a few good soccer matches. Adebayor stepped on van Persie on purpose! And well done to Man U. Once again, a come from behind win. Just read the Straits Time article today on Ms Ris Low. A really interesting topic to talk about, don't you think?

Sorry to all NS men and NS men to be who have yet to complete their NS cycle, but here's whats left of my NS life: 68 days to ORD 20 weekends 12 leave days 18.5 off days 2 public hols 1 Dental checkup which leaves......... 14.5 days in camp. RAWRRRRRRR. Thank God its nearly over.

Hello from camp again. Now doing my final weekend duty, and boy does it feel good. As of today... 74 days to ORD, with 21.5 work days left. Isn't that great? By the end of this stint in camp I'll be left with 68 days to ORD and 15.5 work days left. Nothing much has been happening on this side, so not much for me to update. Have already done my off and leave planning in preparation for ORD. As of now feeling a bit sad that I'm leaving cos of all the good memories of weekends spent in camp, but just thinking about how I could've better used those weekends makes me want to get it over and done with. Thinking of continuing my story, which I've stopped writing since the manning room got very very crowded, but I guess it'll be in my free time. Have already thought of a good ending... Perhaps a MH fanfic is in order as well?

One thing I'm starting to really dislike about myself is my utter lack of foresight. After a long long long stay of 18 days in camp I'm finally out... And very busy. Should've seen that tiredness would set in very quickly in situations like this. In my 18 days have been through NDP deployment, AHM deployment, Duty and COC parade rehearsals. Its honestly taken a lot out of me. And one more thing. 18 days is more than what I had to go through in BMT gah. Tomorrow's gonna be very busy. With BB and a YE meeting and SYC. Just hope I'll survive. But theres one thing good about having busy weekends after busy camp schedules: All I can depend on is God. Simple.

Hiya there... Blogging from camp today, with 95 days to ORD, and 11 days to book out. Played soccer for the first time in a long time. Haven't lost my scoring touch though lol, but my stamina is now insanely bad. The knee pain didn't act up, cos I was mostly only walking, except only for short bursts of running. Got my first ever bee sting on my shoulder during the session. Felt numbness in the right arm, but healed up pretty fast after I plucked the stinger out. A movie I watched in camp for Christian fellowship got me thinking about commitment. The movie was about a christian missionary who at first foresook his missions to do what he was good at: athletics. This brought up an interesting question... Which of these things should he have done instead? All of us go through this dilemma: serve, or hone your talents? So, this guy called Eric Liddell made it to the Olympics in France eventually. Another dilemma faced him. The event he was good at, the 100m race, was held on Sunday...

Just came back from my first driving lesson... And I was already on the road for quite a bit. Made a couple of clutch control related mistakes, but oh wells too much time not touching a manual vehicle does that to you. Things I noticed about CV cars vs Military vehicles: 1. CV cars have a accelerator which is much more sensitive (making me over-rev a couple of times) 2. CV cars have seats that are a lot more comfortable (I nearly took a good nap whilst driving) 3. CV cars have great gear changing mechanisms (absolutely loved changing gears) 4. CV cars are a lot more smaller (whee that means a lot more easier for me to gauge turning distances) 5. CV cars don't have a "cheat" mechanism for gears/clutch (boo cos army vehicles can release clutch faster and start on gear 2 hehehe) So I guess military and CV manual cars have their own good and bad points. Oh this week I refused to meet people unless really needed. Its all cos of the need for rest. 16 days in camp is no joke. To...

107 days to ORD! Getting very worried about my body... The right knee ligament strain acted up again during the 16km run, as a result only got to run around 5-6km. Anybody got a good specialist to recommend? The coming weeks are going to be insanely busy... Starting with the turn-ops exercise for the UIP people on tuesday, on to NDP deployment a week later, and my duty the week after that. Well, after that, everythings gonna tone down and I'll be enjoying a good last 80-90 days. And I'll be concentrating more on Music Min stuffs of course. Hopefully when I'm left with 60 odd days I can begin my 2 day work week plan hehehe. Uncle Kenneth's sermon reminded me of the need for rest. Something which I haven't been getting enough of. The circles around my eyes are getting darker, and I feel that my weekends just keep getting shorter and shorter. (Though in truth as I'm nearing ORD it is getting longer and longer. =))

Rawr the driving instructor didn't recieve my confirmation msg.... Wasted an hour waiting under the hot sun, to find out that my lesson wasn't on the schedule. The first thing I'm gonna do after ORDing is do something about my phone/phone plan grrrrrr.

Wow where should I start... Hmms a lot of things to say, pardon me if I use point form. 1. Had isolation for the first 7 days of July, in camp for a total of 14 days 2. Went on to duty, drove for the first time at night, 2 am in the morning 3. Participated in Ex Northstar (You may have heard of it in the news), found out that isolation was cancelled 4. Had a change of OC, will miss him 5. Went to watch Harry Potter, which I thought wasn't as good as I expected 6. Went for music min networking, SYC and night cycling on the same day 7. Led worship for YE the next day 8. Todays my first driving lesson! Should be quite fun. Yup thats all. In retrospect, putting it in point form makes it so short.

I miss home, I miss my family, I miss church, I miss my friends. Nuff said.

Heya all I'm blogging from isolation. No, I don't have H1N1, its just a part of precautions. No, its not as bad as it sounds. I've got aircon, tv, internet, and can do anything I want besides go up or down the stairs. But the thing is, everything I've planned for the past few months are gonna have a take a back seat, potentially until I start clearing my off and leave, which will be in the 4th quarter. The duty schedule makes it such that out of 21 days, I'll be spending 14 in camp until the new drivers get back. Still wondering why, but I guess God has his way of working. Monster hunter here I come again! Hmm, which manga/anime shall I look at?

Of all weeks to let me know that I have to do duty without prior notice it has to be this week. Had a whole host of activities planned out for the weekend, and things I had to do. Honestly I was infuriated on thursday night when things turned out the way it did. But its fine now, no point harping on it. Things I had to do: 1. Chair jamming session 2. Play hymn for main svc 3. Meet aunty KF for Music Min stuff 4. Eat my mom's homemade jelly and ribs Right now I'm pretty worried about the jamming session after my bro called last night and told me people were being quarantined left right center, so there were not much people coming. Trying to believe that he's exaggerating or basing his claims on empty hearsay, but its not helping! Panic. PANIC!

=( Hope leg heals. Re-strained it during HLS on wed. Right now the pain is reduced to when I walk down stairs, (yay for staying on the ground floor) but I think there still some way to go before recovery. The BMT injury in exactly the same place took 2 weeks... I've finished getbackers, now contemplating which anime to jump onto next. Thinking of Samurai Champloo or DMC, but I think I'll take a break from anime, for now. I'll focus on my PSP exploits instead. After all, I'm on the brink of collecting all rarity 5 SnSs and DSs. (3 more!) I've realised I'm getting pretty comfortable leading worship. All the admin stuff I completed before friday, even though I was in camp. The songs were chosen with careful thought and loads of prayer. And everything fell into place on sunday. I liked the devotion we had just before especially. For the umpteenth time on this blog: Thank you God. Aite 142 days to ORD. Not that it makes a difference anyways.

Oops I took such a long hiatus without realising it. This week was a lot more relaxed, which is pretty good. Nothing much to do in camp. Got a bit of a ligament strain on my right knee joint. Hobbled for a couple of days. Playmax was great. Totally enjoyed it. And the whole feel of it made me really encouraged. So many young people contributing in one way or another made me compelled to continue contributing to my church and to God no matter what the price. When I was waiting at the entrance, there were so many random people queuing up to buy entrance tickets though they hadn't registered through a church. That was a real eye-opener for me. And I just wanna thank God for the people in camp being understanding whilst I was doing up all the admin. At least not bothering me with random extra work to do and letting me hog the comp to do my planning for Playmax. Just shows how God helps those who willingly sacrifice their time and effort to Him. Also, the admin stuff on the day itself w...

160 days to ORD. Lots of things have happened, and I'm back home on a thursday night, for about 3-4 hours. Still got lots of things to settle, trying to get a headstart on the slides for prayer for PLAYMAX. I'm feeling a bit worn out... I've been doing lots of driving for my unit, and that, coupled with a lot of church activities and family issues to tackle has made this week a pretty tough one. And for the first time in a long while, I'm feeling the strain of it all. Usually my cheerful little self would just focus on the happy things, but that mechanism hasn't kicked in at all this week, unlike all the other busy weeks in the past. Well. Nothing to worry about. Just another busy weekend coming up. But something tells me I've been having too many busy weekends lately.

Well, the schedule is done... Now for the jamming session preparation. But for now since I've got some time on my hands... Lets do something I haven't done before: write down a list of all the anime I've completely finished before. Yay. Ah My Goddess + Everybody's Wings Akazukin Cha Cha Basilisk Bleach (still ongoing) Blood+ Boys Be Chobits Clannad + After Story Cooking Master Boy Cowboy Bebop Digimon Tamers 1, 2, 3 Elfen Lied Flame of Recca Full Metal Alchemist + Brotherhood (Still ongoing) Full Metal Panic + Fumoffu + Second Raid Gatekeepers (haven't watched the new one though) Getbackers (Now watching) Grander Musashi Hellsing (haven't watched the new one though) I My Me Strawberry Eggs Kaleido Star Karas The Legend of Condor Heroes Lucky Star Maburaho My Hime Mai Otome + Zwei Naruto + Shippuuden (still ongoing, yes and I watched all those irritating fillers) Ninku Now and Then, Here and There One Piece (still ongoing) Ouran High School Host Club Powerstone P...

Over the past week it was pretty typical, but a couple of highlights over the week include visiting some places that I'd probably never get to in my life, unless there are some pretty special circumstances. Can't reveal what I did over in those places in detail, for security reasons. But I went to 2 places this week: RGS and KK Hospital. Yeah I know those places are for kids/women but work is work. Daryl was teasing me about it when I told him. After all, I couldn't say what I was doing there so everything was up to his interpretation. But overall it was an interesting experience doing those things in those places. Eh that sounded wrong. Other than that we've finally gotten our new uniforms... The general consensus is that most of them aren't too happy about the abrupt change, especially since its only a week right after we obtain the uniforms that we have to permanently wear them. More time to adapt to the change would've been better, but thats out of our hands...

Nothing much that went on during the 3 days I was in camp. Had to stand in for 2 days, but besides that there was much boredom... Sigh. Playing again for main on sunday. Worship prac's on sat, and so is syc. Trying to organise (or more like getting someone to organise) a jamming session for the new mussos... They're doing really well at this point of time but we've still gotta do SDs and teach them how to lead private worship sessions. A lot to discuss with aunty kf and Rach, maybe Gerald as well. Sigh. List of to dos for worship min in order of urgency: 1. Prep devotions/ask Rach to prep devotions 2. Discuss with JS and Daryl about jamming 3. Meet with aunty KF/Gerald 4. Meet with Rach 5. Go through survey results with Dan 6. Get started on bulletin 7. Schedule for June 8. Set some concrete goals for the worship min for next 2 quarters 9. Push for SD teaching + meet some pple in the worship min 10. Source for PA training workshop 11. Set date and run workshop on private w...

Busy busy busy. Got worship to lead tmr, got to play bass in main tmr, then got my FTT and dad's bday on monday. Lots of things happening around. Worship min wise there are a lot of things to settle... Ah wells. This goes out to everybody: Happy Vesak Day, Happy Mothers Day! And to my dad, happy birthday. In camp a lot of exciting things happened, but the highlight of the 9 days in camp has got to be finding a Christian fellowship. Every tuesday it seems that some of my so called "juniors" (those who've come into 8 sig later than me) have been organising worship/sharing/prayer sessions in the evening. I was really excited to go for the first time. Wee Kiat, Ian, Ren Hao, Yang Zhou are some of thos who went. All of us work on servers, which is kinda coincidental. And the number of Christians in my company at the moment are starting to increase, which I'm very very happy about. Sgt Weiliang, Jacky are some of the others are also becoming more open about Christianity...

Got pretty bad ulcers on my tongue (which is a first for me)... Reduced to eating soupy stuff for the rest of the week until it heals. Had a taste of the makeshift cookhouse tentage the past week. Like it much more than the cookhouse itself. At least you have no fear of stepping on bird crap, its well ventilated and has a nice outdoor feel to it. Looking forward to meals more often. Have a lot of things to do for worship min... Thinking through it carefully. Lately I've been feeling helpless when it's come down to stuff about the ministry. A lot of things are out of my control, really up to the members themselves to do. To coerce them or force them doesn't seem right to me, and I have no intention of setting harsh rules and maintaining them. Only God can change them... I know that, but it doesn't help me feel any less helpless about certain things. My next range, the combat shoot 1 is coming in 2 weeks time. Will be spending this coming weekend in camp, so see you all i...

Oho so Man U lost to Everton on penalties in the FA Cup... Interesting. So the finals will be Chelsea vs Everton. Looking forward to it. Hmm its kinda tough not understanding how your friends and family truly feel isn't it. Sometimes you wanna help make things improve or patch things up between people, but you just don't know enough to be of use. It makes you feel really helpless. I hope things end up ok... Especially the fight between my bros. But knowing them, it should be ok. How long can bros be angry with one another, right? Well Sherine and Sophia came over to COGs on Sunday... I was pretty glad that some of my friends took an interest in what my church was like in comparison with theirs. That shows a great deal of spiritual maturity, even though Sherine's pretty new to Christianity. I hope that seeing another church's service strengthened their faith. All the believers out there aren't so different after all. And of course, my church is always open to anyone...

Its quite a different experience spending a Good Friday and Easter Sunday in camp. Spent a bit of Easter sitting in the manning room with Weiliang listening to Christian songs, reflecting about all the good things that have happened. Knowing that no matter how big my sin is, Christ still triumphs over all of it overwhelmingly. Even though I was "not worth it" or so to say, He died for me. Thats more than enough for me. Everything else pales in comparison. Thank You for the cross, Lord Thank You for the price You paid . Bearing all my sin and shame In love You came And gave amazing grace. I suppose the reason that God chose for me to spend this important occasion in camp was not only to make it fresh, but also give me sometime alone with Him, in silence. Todays the first time in a long time I manned the office overnight... Couldn't sleep much, but with His presence so strong I couldn't help but indulge in a time of lengthy prayer. Well besides that, completed Rurouni...

I caught a cough somewhere, I don't know how. Thats the second sickness in a month. No matter. I'm really really happy now. Praise the Lord. Yesterday went pretty smoothly, and I was glad it did. Everything fell into place, and I just wanna thank all those who helped out. I couldn't have done it without God, and without any of you. Thanks thanks thanks once again. Oh and I was really impressed with Man U's come back win yesterday. When they were 2-1 down and I was reading the match commentary, I had no doubt in my mind that they would lose. It seemed that they were playing really badly. But, the unexpected happened, and they turned it around at the death. Thoroughly impressed. Well its my bro's birthdays. Happy birthday to them. Of course there are quite a few of you with the same birthday as them, so happy birthday to you as well. Also, happy birthday to those celebrating tomorrow. Shu En, the 2 YYs (Yee Ying and Alvin Chew) I know, and Hui Hui. That makes a total ...

Driving to Changi was pretty tiring... The main thing that made me sleepy was the 50km/h speed limit + having air con and a comfy seat. If not for Richmond's strepsils I'd be asleep at the wheel. Not much else this week... But the exciting thing will be coming on Sunday for me. A bit nervous, but I guess its to be welcomed. Ok going to prep stuff for tmr and sunday! Later.

Really tiring week in camp... Started off with a route march last wednesday, mock activation on sunday, store tidy up yesterday and finally a recce trip for drivers today. Glad I'm out of camp now. However got lots of things to settle. I've been given the privilege to lead worship for enrolment service... I'm really excited, and a bit stressed, but well God comes first ya. So many different things... I haven't been this busy since JC. For starters, BTT is tomorrow... Really afraid I'll fail. Driving course helped but you'll never be certain. Friday I'll be meeting Rach for worship min stuff... Lots of things to discuss. Then booking in in the afternoon for happy hour, settling the songs, mussos and smsing for enrolment service during the happy hour. (Which makes a rather busy happy hour.) Saturday will be enrolment service rehearsal with the BB kids, and the evening should be rather exciting. Sunday Sherine may be coming down to COGS, plus I need to prep the...

Oh wow its finally the end of Clannad After Story, and it was a really touching anime. I'm glad it ended on a happy note. The previous episode was pretty sad. Heres a pretty nice piano/guitar song from Clannad After Story, which I'm now trying to learn. Click the play button on the right to hear it. If you're reading from livejournal, proceed to my blogspot to hear it. Chiisana Te No Hira (In The Palm Of A Small Hand) - Eufonius tooku de tooku de yureteru inaho no umi ho wo age ho wo age mezashita omoide he to bokura ha kyou made no kanashii koto zenbu oboeteru ka, wasureta ka chiisana te ni mo itsukara ka bokura oikoshiteku tsuyosa ureta budou no shita naiteta hi kara aruita chiisana te de mo hanarete mo bokura ha kono michi yukunda itsuka kuru hi ha ichiban no omoide wo shimatte kisetsu ha utsuri mou tsumetai kaze ga tsutsumarete nemure ano haru no uta no naka de chiisana te ni mo itsukara ka bokura oikoshiteku tsuyosa nureta hoo ni ha dore dake no egao ga utsutta chiisan...

Back from camp: the 43rd signal road relay just ended, and 8 SIG ended up as tug of war champions! Hurray... Well this past week went for OUV familiarisation, which allows me to drive a new kind of vehicle thats pretty nice. Auto transmission, air con, easy control... Its pretty easy to drive even though the size of its bonnet is big. My instructor was really nice and funny. There wasn't a dull moment during the course. As a result of my driving around for the last week for signal anniversary stuffs I've been awarded a total of 3 off days... Wow! Taking my total tally to 8.5. Sweet. Doing saikang really pays off. Getting sick tho. After getting stuck in the rain on monday, I'm having a cold. Not very bad one, but irritating enough. Oh and heard about the news.... Poor Triple. =( Hope Gerald and his mom are doing fine. I'm now doing a couple of bible studies about suffering, and recieving God's comfort... Various aspects of it and how to deal with it, and the mentali...

Apologies for not writing a post earlier... Beginning to feel rather lonely, yet also feel refreshed at the same time. Its something rather hard to comprehend. So I'm in camp on this dreary weekend. Was quite busy this week with signal anniversary stores, and helping drive stuff here and there. One thing that adds to this bore is the fact that most of my other company mates are playing an online browser game called ikariam, which I think is pretty much a waste of time. I was quite sad yesterday when I read the Naruto manga. Seems like Hinata's going to die. (Apologies to all those who don't follow manga... Cos of the spoilers or just in case you don't watch the Naruto anime) She's one of my most favourite characters cos of her personality, situation and lots more. And shes the one I identify with the most. A quiet person. Had a person that she wanted to chase up to and walk beside. Most of all someone who sacrificed her life for what she loved and believed. Thats ni...

Ah the school days... Relived a bit of them over the weekend, after visiting Westwood Sec's BB, and going back to school to collect my A level cert. Two totally different environments, but I enjoyed both of them nonetheless. At Westwood sec everybody was really friendly... I guess its because it has the CCA feel to it. No one who joins them really gets excluded, I certainly didn't feel that way though it was my first time. They just talked to me like I was an ordinary person. That meant no stress when announcing about the 28th Feb event to them. I really hope some of them come tho I can't be there with them. Looking forward to more meetings with them. =) RJ... Wow so much has changed, ever since I went there for a class gathering just last year. Theres a new office, a cool new pond, new signs for the canteen stores and a designated canteen area for teachers. The clerk didn't make much fuss though I took one whole year to collect my cert. Looked through the year book, mo...

To do list for this weekend: 1. Check up on NUS Med apps 2. Top up BBDC account 3. Collect A level cert 4. Visit Westwood Sec BB Wow quite a handful of things... Gotta go quite a few places. Ah thats fine though. V day... Oh wells its nothing special to me, at least for now. Seeing a couple of guys in camp preparing for it makes me a bit apprehensive. The time, money, effort spent is pretty intimidating lol. Well, I'm back to my original duty system... And my first duty will start at the end of the month, which means I can't be there for the Dating, BGR, Marriage thing on the 28th. Sorry aunty k. Theres a parade for some people the week before that, so gotta sub them on the 21st for a day I believe. So won't be at home then either. Ah 2 weekends gone like that. *** Have been reading a book about Caring for others... The book says a large part of it is in comforting people in need or trouble. And thus I've realised nobody confides in me, even though I'm a pretty good...

Hey guys, currently in camp now. Have been using my driving skills every single day driving the unimog, cos most of the drivers are at range this week. Considerably nervous, but I guess the nerves will go down once I get more practice. Cos of the lack of drivers, may have to book out only tomorrow, but thats fine with me. I only have stuff on in the late afternoon and evening. So everythings hunky dory here in camp. Glad to be back. The PT is indeed slightly more xiong, but only slightly. My arms are aching, but its a chance to at least regain some muscle. Yup thats all, going to read manga now. RAVE MASTER!

I'm returning to my unit on this coming tuesday... Have gone back twice to get my stuff all packed and ready, and it seems like nothing much has changed except for the once every fortnight duty being changed to once every 3 weeks. This means less off, but more time for church, which I don't mind. The only other thing is that PT has become slightly more xiong, with a compulsory 100 pushups after every session. Which I don't mind either. With the RTU comes a whole host of things that need doing... For starters packing some stuff I need back to camp. For my own benefit shall put a list here. 1. Bedsheet 2. Pillowcase 3. Smart 4 (3 of them) 4. Hand phone, shaver and PSP charger 5. Reference notebook 6. Helmet 7. Bible + study material Other things that need to be done would be to sew the corporal rank on my smart 4 and get my hair cut, which I'll leave to the next book out which will likely be on friday. Monday I'll be going to collect my military driving license. As us...

Happy CNY! No mood tho...... Don't worry its not cos of ns or any personal problem. Just don't feel like it, the same as Christmas. Somehow have a feeling that this year won't be so easy or straighforward as I first predicted. Nankurunaisa, with God to guide the way. Whee here ends the short post. Off to visit the people on my moms side!

And so its over... Driving test that is! The amazing thing about it all is how everything fell into place so nicely. I guess putting it in point form would make it easier to see. 1. We were scheduled for testing in the afternoon (its easier at that time compared to morning because of the traffic) 2. My instructor finally praised me and encouraged me to pass when I went for my warm-up before lunch. He said he took extra care of me cos he knew I had the heart to learn, learnt fast, and was humble enough to accept his teaching. 3. Only 5 out of 15 of us were allowed to take the test, and people were chosen randomly. It so happened that I was chosen. At that time I knew I was definitely going to pass, as I could see everything fall into place. 4. There were 3 testers, and the order of people going for the test determined which tester you went to. In the end I got the best (lenient) tester! 5. While driving traffic was surprisingly heavy, but it seemed that my senses were at their peaks fo...

Sorry.... Actually meant to write this post a week ago, but had no time thanks to the busy schedule. Once again, I thank God for the great things he's done in my life. This driving course of mine is finally coming to an end, and I can confidently say that I'm quite a safe driver, and can drive a large vehicle with not much of a problem. Passed my height and lashing and parking tests, and all thats left is my final exam. The TP test, which includes about 30mins+ of driving and parking. Probably will pass it within the week if nothing goes wrong. Stay out! Besides that, I've already missed 2 DTS sessions, which makes me ineligible to participate in it any more, so I'll probably go look for more things to do. Perhaps helping out in BB would be good. Oooh ooh and Daryl did well for his Os! Happy happy. His first choice will be NAP Biomed Science course. Good for him. To all who got their results back... Everything happens for a reason. Lift your results up to God and let Hi...

Read through my entire blog worth of posts for the previous year, and its heartwarming to see how far I've gone. Once again I'm spreading my wings and going further than before. I've got approximately 2 weeks of driving course left, time really flies. Just yesterday I drove really really well, and I was pretty happy about it. It was the best I've ever driven during the course duration. Praise and glory to God of course. Next week is going to be quite hectic: Height and Lashing Tests and Parking Tests coming up, as well as special skills driving, which will be quite cool IMO. Hope I pass these tests as well! Nothing much more to update for this week, except that planning for YE is sort of done. We've got a lot of things to iron out still, but the cell group structure is up, and we're gonna start off with something simple... Won't spoil anything for YE members though.

Happy new year! Its been a year worth forgetting. So many new obstacles have appeared, some already passed, and yet more to overcome. 365 days... A tenth of them spent in turmoil, another tenth in loneliness, yet another tenth in anguish, crying out to God. The remaining 70% was spent reminding myself of the other 30% that had already passed. But I guess I exaggerate; after all, I am a better person after it all. I know who in this world are my friends, who in this world look up to me, who in this world enjoy me just being myself. Problems I face become nothing but ants under my stride. Skills I've picked up are becoming all the more relevant: ranging from driving, to calling people up, even to japanese and sign language. I begin to understand the problems faced by those of lower educational standard, have learnt how to treat them fairly, and have also become their nakama. The watchnite service yesterday put a song in my heart: "I trusted, kept on trusting Through the night of...