11 more days...
I'd initially thought that the toughest part of these last few days would be cos of my inability of my body to keep up, but thats not the case. Its my mind and heart that cannot keep up with my body. Well, more on that later...
***
Soccer
Man City 0 Charlton 0
Everton 4 Fulham 1
Chelsea 1 Tottenham 0
Arsenal 0 West Ham 1
Blackburn 1 Aston Villa 2
Middlesbrough 4 Watford 1
Reading 1 Liverpool 2
Sheffield 1 Newcastle 2
Wigan 1 Bolton 3
Portsmouth 2 Man U 1
AC Milan 2 Bayern Munich 2
PSV 0 Liverpool 3
Chelsea 1 Valencia 1
Roma 2 Man U 1
***
S03H
Well, results are back... Considering the circumstances, I think I did quite well. And... A bit of disappointment. Some people treated me quite badly because of my results, especially after knowing that I've been mugging for only 2 days a subject. Whatever. I did well cos God was faithful to me. You don't have to treat me that way just cos you're envious and you didn't/can't do as well as me.
Here are the grades:
BBBBE
We celebrated Debbie's birthday this week. Sacrificed one recess to do it. But it was good. There were exactly 18 guys in class, so Carol asked us to act like candles whilst Debbie tried to 'blow us out'. The resulting scene was pretty hilarious IMO. Quite a unique birthday celebration. I think Debbie got fighting fish as a present haha.
***
YE
Well, next it was the celebration for my bros and Shu En. Went to Vivo City for dinner to celebrate... Way too crowded for my liking. Went to Marche. Which was way too expensive for my liking. Spent a total of $41.70 for me and my bros. Too much for my liking. After that though the outing officially ended, and it was too early, everyone decided to stay back.
I think I made a mistake by staying back. Everything was so messy, so unplanned, that I couldn't get used to it at all. People were getting seperated here and there left right centre, people were moving out without telling othes, people were going to places without a valid reason, only 'just for fun, just for company'.
I just couldn't stand it. Wanted to go home, but my loyalty to my friends and brothers forced me to stay. Hated the way I couldn't just leave my brothers there. Something tells me that I have to change. Oh man and when people started to cam whore and disrupt the peace, I snapped. I didn't say anything, but just sat there. As if anything I said would help.
At that moment... I was reminded of how different my friends were from me. I knew it long ago, but that situation reminded me. They liked doing things I didn't, they looked at things so superficially that I couldn't possibly understand what they were thinking. They were so... Alien.
I felt like an elitist for thinking that way. And I realised that I've never played group games with some of them, I've never spouted vulgarities like some of them. Something inside me asked... Was something wrong? With me? Or some of them?
Well, happy birthday. Hope this post didn't douse your birthday candles.
***
Reflections
If you found me too caustic just now, I'm sorry. And God, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been angered so easily on the perfect day, the day your plan was complete, the day that you died for everyone so that our sins could be washed away.
But even more so, I was angry that no one seemed to remember the significance of Good Friday while we were out. Their actions didn't seem to portray the mood of the season, didn't seem to respect the fact that it was the day that Christ put in his all for us. All I could sense was this superficiality, this materialism, this worldliness that I couldn't possibly describe. I don't know if I sensed it correctly, but... It all felt wrong.
When I was at service... I looked at the cross, and I could see scenes from that day he died. His withered frame on the post, blood everywhere, trickling down his hands, his legs and his forehead. His frailty, his embarassment, his death. I told myself... I'm gonna renew myself for you today.
I've felt pain and sadness all the past week. Eden-Sol, RJGE, S03H, YE, family. Each one of these groups of people have let me down in one way or another this week. Won't specify how, but yeah. This is the lowest I've ever felt, not because I was physically weak, but mentally and emotionally hurt. But most importantly, I've let myself down over the week.
This day, its time to set yourself anew, to be a vessel for God. Run away from all sin, run away from all worldly pleasure, run away from the Devil and his fiery darts. And thats just what I'm commiting myself to do. He died for me. And its the most I can do.
Today is Easter Sunday. I told myself this: I'm hurting so much, everyone seems so far away. Only you can help me Lord. Everything will work itself out with your strength. I said the exact words Jesus did. "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken away from me. But not my will, but yours be done."
Everything will end in 11 days. And believe it will all come to a conclusion on that day. Until that day, I will not stop waiting on the Lord, not stop serving him, though it may seem like everyone has deserted me.
NOT MY WILL, BUT YOURS BE DONE.
I'd initially thought that the toughest part of these last few days would be cos of my inability of my body to keep up, but thats not the case. Its my mind and heart that cannot keep up with my body. Well, more on that later...
***
Soccer
Man City 0 Charlton 0
Everton 4 Fulham 1
Chelsea 1 Tottenham 0
Arsenal 0 West Ham 1
Blackburn 1 Aston Villa 2
Middlesbrough 4 Watford 1
Reading 1 Liverpool 2
Sheffield 1 Newcastle 2
Wigan 1 Bolton 3
Portsmouth 2 Man U 1
AC Milan 2 Bayern Munich 2
PSV 0 Liverpool 3
Chelsea 1 Valencia 1
Roma 2 Man U 1
***
S03H
Well, results are back... Considering the circumstances, I think I did quite well. And... A bit of disappointment. Some people treated me quite badly because of my results, especially after knowing that I've been mugging for only 2 days a subject. Whatever. I did well cos God was faithful to me. You don't have to treat me that way just cos you're envious and you didn't/can't do as well as me.
Here are the grades:
BBBBE
We celebrated Debbie's birthday this week. Sacrificed one recess to do it. But it was good. There were exactly 18 guys in class, so Carol asked us to act like candles whilst Debbie tried to 'blow us out'. The resulting scene was pretty hilarious IMO. Quite a unique birthday celebration. I think Debbie got fighting fish as a present haha.
***
YE
Well, next it was the celebration for my bros and Shu En. Went to Vivo City for dinner to celebrate... Way too crowded for my liking. Went to Marche. Which was way too expensive for my liking. Spent a total of $41.70 for me and my bros. Too much for my liking. After that though the outing officially ended, and it was too early, everyone decided to stay back.
I think I made a mistake by staying back. Everything was so messy, so unplanned, that I couldn't get used to it at all. People were getting seperated here and there left right centre, people were moving out without telling othes, people were going to places without a valid reason, only 'just for fun, just for company'.
I just couldn't stand it. Wanted to go home, but my loyalty to my friends and brothers forced me to stay. Hated the way I couldn't just leave my brothers there. Something tells me that I have to change. Oh man and when people started to cam whore and disrupt the peace, I snapped. I didn't say anything, but just sat there. As if anything I said would help.
At that moment... I was reminded of how different my friends were from me. I knew it long ago, but that situation reminded me. They liked doing things I didn't, they looked at things so superficially that I couldn't possibly understand what they were thinking. They were so... Alien.
I felt like an elitist for thinking that way. And I realised that I've never played group games with some of them, I've never spouted vulgarities like some of them. Something inside me asked... Was something wrong? With me? Or some of them?
Well, happy birthday. Hope this post didn't douse your birthday candles.
***
Reflections
If you found me too caustic just now, I'm sorry. And God, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been angered so easily on the perfect day, the day your plan was complete, the day that you died for everyone so that our sins could be washed away.
But even more so, I was angry that no one seemed to remember the significance of Good Friday while we were out. Their actions didn't seem to portray the mood of the season, didn't seem to respect the fact that it was the day that Christ put in his all for us. All I could sense was this superficiality, this materialism, this worldliness that I couldn't possibly describe. I don't know if I sensed it correctly, but... It all felt wrong.
When I was at service... I looked at the cross, and I could see scenes from that day he died. His withered frame on the post, blood everywhere, trickling down his hands, his legs and his forehead. His frailty, his embarassment, his death. I told myself... I'm gonna renew myself for you today.
I've felt pain and sadness all the past week. Eden-Sol, RJGE, S03H, YE, family. Each one of these groups of people have let me down in one way or another this week. Won't specify how, but yeah. This is the lowest I've ever felt, not because I was physically weak, but mentally and emotionally hurt. But most importantly, I've let myself down over the week.
This day, its time to set yourself anew, to be a vessel for God. Run away from all sin, run away from all worldly pleasure, run away from the Devil and his fiery darts. And thats just what I'm commiting myself to do. He died for me. And its the most I can do.
Today is Easter Sunday. I told myself this: I'm hurting so much, everyone seems so far away. Only you can help me Lord. Everything will work itself out with your strength. I said the exact words Jesus did. "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken away from me. But not my will, but yours be done."
Everything will end in 11 days. And believe it will all come to a conclusion on that day. Until that day, I will not stop waiting on the Lord, not stop serving him, though it may seem like everyone has deserted me.
NOT MY WILL, BUT YOURS BE DONE.
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