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=( =( =(

Its been a boring weekend... No PSP, Facebook is down, anime website is down. So all I have is the pokemon gold in the office comp, guitar, my jap book and onemanga. Too little entertainment for the 32 hours of weekend that I'll be spending in camp.

Jap's going along really well. Have been learning lots of conversational stuff, as well as some characters of kanji. And it does help when you know how to read the difficult version of chinese. Still got a long way to go, cos next up comes Katakana, which I think is one step above in difficulty from Hiragana.

Well without facebook and anime, the main source of entertainment has been in reading Ouran High School Host Club manga. And I'm really surprised that the manga is really much deeper than it is made out to be. I'm really envious of the way the characters are able to tell each other's deepest thoughts and emotions just by observing each other. That is something I can't do.

Up till now I've always thought that friendship just meant wanting the best for your friend, just being there for him/her through it all. And I don't mind dying for anyone I know even. But that alone is inadequate, I've come to realise. I'd like to know someone else's deepest thoughts and emotions for once. All my life I've been passive when it comes to relationships, and I think its now my weakness. Time to step up. But is it too late? When people already see me as a taciturn, serious person, can they open up to me? I don't know but I'll try.

Being in camp during a weekend is really doing me quite a bit of harm. For some reason theres an aura of un-spiritualness (um dunno how to explain it) in the army, which I bring back during my long weekend. I've noticed it last week, but this week the feeling got stronger.

Well, some examples like forgetting to pray, not getting anything out of QT, distractions while worshipping, actions not being Christ like etc are starting to creep in. I don't understand why. I know that God wants us to be different from the rest, but why can't I do it, especially in camp? Confused...

My schedule will come in the next post. And in case you guys don't know, my next book out will be from 3rd Sep evening to 8th Sep evening. No one's asked me out yet. =( =( =( Time to start being active for once.

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