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Tsurai...

Well, combined church camp 2010 has ended on a pretty good note. It went a lot better than I thought it would. I'm sure it was good by human standards, and great by God's standards, because He was glorified through this camp, and I believe everyone came back at least either learning something, or being reminded of the basics of Christian living and how it ties to true unity in Christ.

The journey through this camp has been far from perfect for me... In fact, its been dismal by my standards, to be truthful. From minor administrative blunders to a realization of how superficial my definition of unity was, and from being upset for not being informed of unfortunate situations that arisen to a distinct awareness of the awkward nature of some of my social interactions... Its been painful for me. Most of all, my lack of prayer and seeking God throughout the whole affair disappointed me the most.

On the last afternoon, at the worship prac for father's day... It went horribly for me. Distracted by many other things, unable to play the songs because I hadn't practised beforehand, it was tough. I fell back to God... But regrettably it was the first time in the camp that I'd asked for His strength, guidance and help. After the prac I just went back to my room and lay there in silence, broken, aware of how sinful I've been, and how much I've chosen to take control instead of letting Him take control.

Of course, there were good things along the way. Those late nights in fellowship with the friends that I cherish, the constant encouragement from them. The performances, times I was truly doing things for God, focusing on Him in worship, and strengthening the church. And the new friendships, deeply rooted in Christ. All these I treasure and hold close to my heart.

As expected, its been bittersweet. And after this, I think a break from any sort of organization of camps and events is due. With my current state, I don't think I'd be doing God, the participants, and myself any justice. Need to set things right.

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