Skip to main content

Bleeding

It hurts... Being the guy who has to reprimand my peers and face the flak. Yeah I know I'm doing it for God... Yeah and I know if I'm doing it for God everything will turn out fine. But the pain it brings me is killing me. Why can't they see I'm not critisizing them directly, I'm not aiming anyone of them on purpose? I don't know. Why can't they see that they have issues and think why I have to scold them? Beats me.

Though I may say that I'm willing to sacrifice my all to fufilll God's purpose... The price is starting to take its toll. Soon, I may have no friends in church save a few who understand my plight. I'll become just a disciplinarian and senior in their eyes, and not a friend.

To sum it all up, I'm afraid of the consequences. Though I may claim that I don't care, a small part of me is bleeding right now.

But whats done is done. Theres no turning back. And its time I embrace my up-and-coming duties as a leader, though it may mean I'll lose my friends. And I pray that my heart eventually can truly say... Lord, you're more than enough for me.

Don't worry bout me guys... I just need your prayer. I will continue submitting to Him, but I need peace inside to quell my fear. Instead worry for God, cos he's the worthy one, not any of us.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Digimon

 I'm feeling quite nostalgic and have been thinking about my childhood a lot recently. A lot of it is because of the retreat I just had with my CG members and how having such a retreat reminded me of days that were more slower paced and more relaxed.  It makes me want to relive some of my memories. Two ways that I've thought about is soccer - I've been watching some of the World Cup matches, and it reminds me of the late nights I had watching matches when I was 15 or so and just starting this blog. About how soccermugger came to be in the first place and how I wanted this platform to post about soccer scores and how I felt about the matches I watched. The other way is to watch old anime, and I'm thinking about revisiting the first ever anime I watched which was Digimon. It was televised in Mandarin at 8am, and I remember waking up early on the weekends to watch it fervently. Maybe its time to do that again.  In general I guess my inclinations are to be more at ease and
Post a Comment
Read more

Vanguard

It’s taken a long time, but I think my heart is finally at peace. It’s been a tough journey but I am glad to say the worst of it is over. At the moment am surrounded by those who matter to me and I am doing meaningful things. Truly thankful that God has returned me to such a state.  In this season of Good Friday and Easter the word Vanguard comes to mind. Maybe it’s that season of life where God is exactly that for me, where we will be together in uncharted battlegrounds in both personal and professional life.  Not too sure when my next post will be but hope the next will be better than the last. Until next time! 
Post a Comment
Read more

Ride On

Recently things have been going really well. I've had a leadership position in my workplace for almost one year now and it is quite amazing how God has guided throughout the way. Despite this I feel that I have achieved the balance between my work, personal life and I'm in some sort of a flow that makes me satisfied about how things are going. I'm about to transition to another stage of it, and it feels that along the way God has prepared me each and every step. There's a lot to give thanks for.  Things are really cruising along. I've always liked a good, smooth drive and life feels that way at the moment. Its been a long time along a bumpy road but finally things feel right.  Praise be to God who calms the raging seas. Praise be to God who can be counted on for the hardest difficulties in life.  Not sure when the next post be, but I think if things carry on the way they are, more good posts are to come. 
Post a Comment
Read more