Well as the new year sets in its time once again for the obligatory New Year's post!
2014 has been a very rewarding year with lots of change, most significantly the transition into my new job and taking up new responsibilities, as a resulting having to rework lots of my daily schedule. Some parts of change have been welcome, and others not so easy. 2014 has been a rather moderate kind of year filled with ups and downs. Definitely more challenging than many of the previous years I've had but by no means bad. Well this year I've decided to do it in a 3 bad stuff and 3 good stuff format kinda thingy so here goes.
THE GOOD:
1. Job Satisfaction
Boy when I was searching for my job at the end of graduating I had no idea what it would be like, and my job definitely blew all my prior expectations out of the window in a great way. The satisfaction at the job is phenomenal when people come up to you and thank you personally, the environment is great, the colleagues are encouraging and my bosses are nurturing and give us the space to grow. Simply fantastic. I currently wouldn't trade my job for any other one.
2. YE's growth
Back when I took up the challenge of coordinating things I never imagined that spiritual breakthrough would come so soon. Many wonderful things have been happening: the improvement in inclusiveness and also the focus on things of God, as well as the willingness to engage in their spiritual giftings. Looking back to the past I never would have imagined we would be where we are right now, and its heading in a great way! Glad to have been a part of it, no matter what small role I played in the year
3. Learning to love
This year especially has been one that has been teaching me very much to love beyond my limits and to be unconditional in the way I love. I can't say that I've learnt to be less passive but I can say that my capacity to love even those who treat me unpleasantly has grown very much, and this is credit to my job and how God is leading me through it and teaching me. Vanessa has as always played a great part to learn love, and the newest aspect of it is to love even in the difficult circumstances. Many a times I've been physically tired out but never will I back down from loving her and doing things with her!
THE BAD:
1. Fatigue
My body is still getting used to the work week even though its been 5 months, and this has resulted in fatigue after work on weekdays, something that I never had to deal with even in JC when my days were 7am to 11pm some times. I guess my body's not cut out for long days like that any more. Because of the fatigue gone are a lot of things from my to do list like piano playing and regular exercising, which is rather unfortunate. Many a days I will come back and just plonk to the bed, especially on those days where I see people who tell me all sorts of saddening stories...
2. Uncertainty
Much of this uncertainty comes with wondering whether God is calling me to a separate ministry. For awhile now I've been reflecting about my journey in YE, and I really do hope God is pleased with what I've done. If I had an analogy for it I felt like I was plugging holes in a ship that needed repairs and needed to head to port for a resup. And now I feel we have reached that port and are preparing for it. The main reason why I feel my time is coming to a close is because I see the development of the future leaders in ways that have surpassed my own journey, like how Joshua surpassed Moses in his faith towards God. Perhaps it's time for Joshua to take the reins and lead the Israelites to the promised land. That being said I'm considering what further ministries to move into! No way will my work in God's kingdom come to an end!
3. Emotional Pain
The only other bad thing about the job besides the physical is in the emotional. Hearing about poverty and seeing it first hand is very sobering, and sometimes disturbing. It questions your motive for living and your achievements, first showing you how fleeting they are, and second showing you how for much of your life you've been a terrible person who hasn't cherished a single bit of your wonderful life. It's difficult seeing situations like I've seen and not become angry at the darkness of the world and the puppet master pulling the strings. As much as I wish for things to go well for some of the people I meet, the harsh reality is sometimes it doesn't get better. And when I think of that I sometimes I get this sense that living is really hard... Which is depressing haha.
Well here's to more fantastic memories in 2015! Hopefully through this post you understand the joys and struggles I've had in 2014, and will continue to encourage me in this new year! With that here's wishing everyone a wonderful 2015!
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