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Realization

If there's one word I had to use to describe 2009, it would be the word realization.

I remember a long long time ago in one of my blog posts I said that I didn't have any loves or hates or anything like that, because I only classified things according to how important they were to me. It held true until the last half of 2008, and for the year 2009 I guess all that has changed. Thanks to army, and thanks to earlier disappointments, I have come to realise and understand how much loving and hating is a part of life that shouldn't be ignored.

Over the course of the year, I have learnt that there are many things I hate...

Things like:
Going to Malaysia (actually Malaysia in general)
Doctors who cheat their patients or aren't committed
Redundancy, especially when doing important things
Changing my schedule for the day because of unexpected reasons
People who try to get close to me, only to say something offensive
The colour pink
A messy room
Items that don't belong to me for some unknown reason in my own space
Wearing longs, especially jeans
Myself, when I'm have a lack of foresight and commit to too many things

And there are things I love:
A nice cup of fresh milk in the morning
Rainy days
Anime of all kinds
Going to Japan
Christian Music
Holding any instrument of sorts in my hand
Listening to the sounds of nature
Listening to others pouring out their troubles
Youth Explorer, Eden-Sol
People who are steady, calm, mature and sensible
A sweet, frothy glass of milo
Staring at the full moon
God

All this time because of my rational nature and personality, I've always felt that things that are important should be things that I surround myself with, and as a result, I've never really had real ownership of most of the things I did up till now. I did whatever I had to, and didn't ask many questions.

Most times, love grew along the way when I did those things I thought were important, and that was how I succeeded, and grew.

But now... I really see how loving things and hating things can allow me to have real ownership of the things I'm a part of. I love God, I love YE, I love listening to people talking about their problems. And the love for things like that are driving me to a level that I have never reached before. Being a CGL next year... I decided upon it, because I finally felt that I owned it, I loved it and not just because I felt it was important.

Unlike anything else that I have embarked upon before, this time both my heart and my head is with me from the start, and so is God. And I pray in the new year, as more things await me, that my heart and my head will be more friendly to each other, and they will learn to make unanimous decisions more often. =P Of course, with God to guide the way.

That is the biggest realization of 2009 - the realization of the importance of loving and hating, amidst many other realizations of 2009. Cheers!

2010 here I come!

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