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Reflectionsss

RI RJ Transition Reflection... (Though I should be doing my pw one =P)

When you get bored of doing the usual stuff you do everyday during the hols your mind starts to wander... And you start to think. Hmm... How have I changed? What did I do wrong? What went right? And you look for answers, just like every other curious being out there would do. And when you find the answers, you feel... Much better! You accept yourself for who you are, and you're proud of who you are...

Hmm just half a year ago... Even before RJ... I was different? Or so it seemed to me. I wasn't really concerned with anything much. I was the resident nice guy of 4B, building bridges between muggers and slackers, sort of the in between bunch that was accepted by both sides.

I think then I lived by a few ideals I always held true to, and it was easy living by those ideals. Though these ideals weren't put down in stone, for some reason I always had them in my heart. I think I can name them for you guys.

#1 ~ NO violence, NO anger no matter what
#2 ~ Spread the Peace and Love (as Sherlock puts it)
#3 ~ HEART (5 things I believe a relationship should have)
#4 ~ God rocks no doubt

Now that I'm in RJC, I've become the resident half cool half crazy emo rocker. Probably cos I began to perform in a band? And the cool and crazy mix part was kinda influenced by people I was surrounded by? Sad thing is though I'm still nice to an extent, I'm no longer the usual nice guy I was. And well... I'm neglecting my studies a bit...

Recently I was reminded of that when I compromised on two out of the four ideals that I had. And I was disappointed. That made me doubt whether I was on the right path. The change was too much, too soon? Though it may seem small some of you guys, I find it way too hard to deal with subtle change like that, I admit. The transition from RI to RJ life has been way too subtle yet has such interesting impacts...

But then as I look forward and backward and compare both... This change has brought about some new things. Broadening of my otherwise narrow life. Its like the river finally finding the ocean.

Example #1
Life as a disciple used to revolve around just serving in a ministry. But now it involves so much more. The change I underwent broadened my Christian Life and made me realise that servitude wasn't enough. I'm proud to say... I'm doing QT and praying regularly every morning! And I must say that each morning I wake up I feel so deep in love. And it feels awesome. With fellowship added in, I know I can grow more...

Example #2
I'm no longer the total silent type... I think more of the cool factor has come in? You either see me talk lots or when I don't talk while in a crowd I kinda... How to say... Exude coolness? (Someone correct me if I'm wrong =P) Especially after the performances with my band in school. I've recieved comments that have been quite nice... Thanks for those. Some people say I look really cool when I'm serious... (Or is that just to boost my ego lol?)

Example #3
My horizons have broadened... I see things not only from my nice guy personality in the past, but as well from my present perspective, not forgetting God's perspective. Sometimes I get confused which of me I should listen to, but God always leads me to the right one. Awesome. But it gives me a whole lot of choices, which makes life seem like an RPG. Which is pretty cool.

Everyone's Changing ~ Keane

Verse 1:

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can
You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why

Chorus:

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

Verse 2:

You're gone from here
And soon you will disappear
Cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right

Repeat Chorus twice

This song pretty much sums it up... Though its a kinda melancholy song about how everyone's changing so fast and how its gonna be hard... I'm kinda proud to have advanced along in life. Though some parts of it have weakened, but life has broadened up so much. And I thank God for that.

Just hope that I don't buckle when I see my weaknesses everywhere I look. Though its gonna be tough... I'm gonna continue fighting till my time runs out no matter what changes.

PEACE AND LOVE! (Sherlocks rocks my socks)

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